Today

I started to write a status about how much I hate today. About how much today as left me feeling defeated and hopeless and all around insignificant. I started typing a rant and in the middle of typing that rant I decided that it wasn't who I wanted to represent myself. Today sucked, I won't deny that. My car broke, I was late to everything I had to do today, said car can't be easily or affordably fixed at this moment, every where I went there was a least a thirty minute line. The list goes on. And while I want nothing more than to type that list out and have whomever reads this share in the absolute shit show that was February 27th, 2017 I can't. These are not your problems to deal with and they are not significant enough problems for me to dwell on forever. Yes, there is more to the story and so much more is going on behind the scenes that I can't even begin to explain. But I'm alive. I'm supported by people who love me. I'm functioning. I'm going in the direction I want to be moving in. I'm breathing. I smiled today. I laughed. I hugged people I loved. I was picked up by a random, loving, kind woman named Sheryl who sat with me for almost three hours to help sort out my car drama!

Today I was blessed even if those blessing felt like a curse. Today I was looked after. Today I was loved. And while I still feel defeated, there is also a part of me that wants to say "Okay, what's next? What else do you need me to fight through?" I don't want to ask for my negative or dramatic things to happen. That is not my intent. But if more things must come, I want to the universe to know that I am ready. I will fight back. I will show this series of events that I will not be knocked for long. I'm too strong.