My Novel

I'm not entirely sure how to begin the end of the year post. I could write about how I went to Busch Gardens with Alexis and we stood in line for two hours. I could tell the world more about how I jumped at every scream and firework because I was expecting a hoard of people to come running. But that isn't really what this post is supposed to be about I guess.

A year ago today I saw a picture about how the next day was the first page of a 165 page book that challenges everyone who read it to make that book a good one. More than a hundred labels, 6331 views and countless pictures and I can't honestly say that I feel like 2014 has been a good or a bad year. It was been full of ups and downs, tears and laughter, fantastic moments and some of the saddest I've ever experienced, failure and successes. Do I think that tomorrow is the start of something better than this last year? Not particularly because tomorrow is the start of another book and it is up to me to make the changes I want to see in my life.

This year I had a multitude of things I wanted to see happen and I can guarantee you that I did not get to all of them. I did not go see the nutritionist and I didn't lose the weight that I wanted to lose. I did not manage to get any better at not disappointing myself.  I even missed blogging days because of one reason or another. But 2014 and this little experiment has taught me so much about my self and about others but we would be here for WAY too long if I tried to put all of those lessons into words. The cliff notes version would be that I am a born procrastinator and I don't know if I can change that, people will always surprise you, words are hard, and I really have a hard time reflecting on things.

I hope that anyone who reads this found a lesson for themselves this year and I hope that you, like me, are going to take those lessons as markers for a new life in 2015. I hope that whatever journey you were on or might still be on went/goes as smoothly as possible and that all of your resolutions and wishes come true.

In the words of Walt Disney- "We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths"


Well that is it I guess. My novel, the book that was my life for the last year, has come to a close. All the pages have been filled out and there is no more to say about 2014. Happy New Year friends.

Let It Go

"Let it go, Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go, Let it go. Turn my back and slam the door." "Let It Go"-Frozen- 2013

They say you learn something new everyday. Well today I learned quite a few things. For one, I realized I need to not be so serious and  even though I'm fairly good at interpreting things in multiple ways I tend to go the serious route. For another, I have pretty bad impulse control and I need to work on this. Also, I was reminded today that I am not the universe's favorite person (I tried to be healthy and order a grilled chicken salad, chicken arrived undercooked, had to get fries and a shake instead), I am incapable of controlling my stutter, *and* I should probably revisit the idea of not letting people get to me. All of these things I am okay with. They are all part of what it is to be me right now, in this current place in time. Can they change? Of course but it will be on my terms and no one else's. Letting it go.

Aside from all of the things I learned about me today, I learned a couple things about people as well. People will have an affect on other people, positive or negative. That seems redundant and pointless to state but its true. Some people are going to disappoint you or stun you or surprise you or disgust you. It is going to happen more likely than not. It happened to me today. Someone who I thought was my friend and who I thought I meant something to surprised me with his or her shenanigans and kind of shattered the image of our friendship for me. But I'm okay with that. His or her life is not mine to monitor and his or her actions should not dictate how I run my life. I won't let it and I won't allow it. I am stronger than that because I want to be. 

Let it go.

Side note about people:

 Have you ever disagreed with someone or their choices so much that you ask your self "Why do I interact with you?" Have you ever just looked at someone and realized how odd it is to actually be friends with, be in a relationship with, or be related to them? Think about it. We choose to let person X,Y,and Z into our lives because of similar interests or views or because we share the same major in college. We choose to interact with them verbally, conTEXTually (see what I did there?), publicly and privately all because there is something about their individual weirdness that relates to ours. Even people we have nothing in common with, sometimes to the point of being complete opposites, we sometimes let into our lives. Then we complain about it whenever person X, Y, or Z does something that we as individuals don't agree with or that society deems socially inappropriate. Do we do anything about it most of the time? Not from what I've learned about people but I could be (read "probably am") wrong about that.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with any of this, quite frankly there isn't. Humans are social creatures and we need social groups in order to function. But when I sit back and I look at it as a whole, I'm just baffled, amused, and content with it all at the same time. Does anyone else have this happen to them or am I just off my rocker?  Probably.