My Make Up

I didn't expect to be this tired from a nine hour day and yet here we are. I really should buy and take my make up off but I have a feeling it is jut time for sleep.

Joining Best Buddies

Today some of my coworkers and I got to volunteer with the local Best Buddies chapters when they had their leadership meaning. We were able to help with registration and we were able to entertain them throughout the summit!

Feeling Slightly Overwhelmed

With all the good and bad news these past few weeks I have been really struggling to find a good balance. I am so thrilled to be gearing up for holiday time but there is just so much informant to learn at work and I'm a self teacher. However, this isn't something I can teach myself. I have to learn it in a timed and busy environment which is what the real challenge is. 

Other than that life is going okay. Wednesday is permit day so I have been reviewing road rules and signs whenever I can. I need to email some more UCF people to let the know that my transcripts may be arriving late due FSU revamping their transcript system. I also need to reserve th first t Fridays in October off for possible interviews. Oh boy.

"SO SO GRATEFUL"

You know that moment where you look back on a tough section of your life and you think "that wasn't so bad"? Obviously the whole recommenders have bailed thing thwt just happened isnt the worst thing to have to me but now that it is over with I couldn't be more grateful. I honestly haven't had this good of a day in a while and it is all because Dr. Sullivan, Dr. Licht, and my lab supervisor have all come through with letters of recommendation for me. The amount of times I used the words 'grateful' and 'thank you' today in my various emails just baffles me. I do however mean each and every one. I could not be more grateful to these three individuals and I don't think I will ever be able to express it in the right way.

Today also saw me decide to keep my spring admission plan. If I was able to get all of this done in a week so I am going to interpret this as a sign that I am meant to attend a graduate program in spring. Now to just prepare my bank account and my self for another culture shock. 

World At Ease

At least for a little while. Today was a reset day as I was off from work and I tried to use it as so. I woke up around 10:30 and then emailed professors and made phone calls regarding the letters of recommendation situation. So far I have had two professors email me back saying that they would writ the best letter that they could given that they don't really know me all too well anymore. At this point I am eager to accept that but I am still battling with myself over spring or fall admission. 

The other things on my list for today were to relax as much as possible, do laundry, and then study some more for the road signs and rules test next week! I started relaxing off by hanging out by the pool  but I soon realized that it had fresh chemicals in it so I showered off and went inside. My next idea was to marathon True Blood until my eyes fell out of my head but that didn't end up happening dully as I was saved by Catherine!

The rest of our day was spent at The Container Store, Cracker Barrel, and then helping her and Alex move into the new apartment. I also got my iPad back which I am going to try to limit my time with. Of course it is easier to use upstairs where I don't have a computer but I get so distracted by the Sims and Netflix. I HAVE to keep up some sort of productive pace.

All The Time

Now that question sounds more dramatic than I am intending. I also found that in that format on the interwebs so any grammar mistakes in that square do not belong to me. The rest of course do. Anyway, today's post isn't very happy regardless of all the new experiences I am gaining from work. I just feel so stuck and yet out of place due to this whole grad school debacle. I really don't know what I should do. I have thought of four people to email an call tomorrow (DAY OFF WOOO) however those people don't know what I am capable of. I have interacted with them enough to be comfortable talking to them in class but to ask for a recommendation? I don't think I have earned that honor. I just highly dislike the confusion and general LIFE ALTERING WEIGHT of this situation. I believe in fate and that the universe/Merlin/God/Banana People from planet Pluto has/have a reason for everything, I just cannot figure out what the reason is for losing a recommender. Maybe I'm not meant to see it right now but the idea that this would happen just weeks before final applications are due even though I have been emailing them since March is just baffling to me.

In regards to the square of text. I understand that not everyone, myself included, is happy all the time. That isn't a normal thing to expect. There are going to be stressors and situations that alter are emotional state. I will say though, the amount of people who could answer that questions "everyday" is one of the reasons I want to be a counselor. You shouldn't feel trapped or scared or sad but fake being happy. And if you do then you shouldn't feel compelled to fake being happy.


ALSO: To the anonymous commenter on the post prior to this one who told me I was born to do the things I have been working on at work. You are awesome and I thank you so much for your encouragement!

Eight Hour Day

I am really excited about all the tasks I was able to learn/practice today and I get to do it all over again tomorrow! Now to get used to everything. I can do this!!