Scream, Till You Believe It

There are moments in everyone's life where they realize that something is not worth the effort the individual is putting in.  I had that moment today while sweeping after evaluating the last three days and the feelings of depression that the subject brings. I should feel safe, supported, and like I'm worth effort but instead I feel persecuted, useless, and worthless. I do not accept that! Not at all. That is not something I'm going to stand for. I don't want to let go of certain goals and I don't want to have to say goodbye to certain things but I also realize that I can't continue them. I have to either fix it, change it, or leave it (really all I want to do is cry about it but that just isn't the smart option). Looks like I've got work to do. 

Another Day Done

I am openly admitting that a sister shared this on Facebook earlier today and I snatched it from whomever she shared it from. While I don't agree with all of it, I do appreciate the quote's message of don't dwell on things. However, sometimes a failure or a slip up can lead to amazing discoveries about  yourself or can result in the motivation to complete a task. 

Today was boring but such is life when you don't have work (technically I did but no one told me so it's not on me) or plans or the ability to go do anything without inconvenicong someone else. June will see me in a motor vehicle. Scary, I know but I am going to make it happen come hell or high water. My life for the day consisted of watching wedding shows and laying around. And then I took a shower and got some Chipotle and a cupcake ( sweet nectar of the gods). As I was eating the cupcake, my sister made a comment about how I need to stop "doing that." And then she went on to call her 125 pound self fat. I know she was talking about sweets. I know that I have a problem. I like food, especially if it's of the dessert or potato variety.

Things I don't like, having to pay bazillions of dollars to join a gym and having that gym be full of body builders. That just kills everyone's confidence. It was one of my goals to get back to the gym at school and to eat better. It didn't really happen. I acknowledge that I failed. But in that failure I succeeded in gradauting from college and in maintaining an A- in all of my classes.  Hopefully, i can put that on the pther half of the year's goal list and actually get to it.

I'll be posting a final update on the year's first set of goals before the Hunter Hayes concert in 15 days.