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I couldn't think of anything to call this post so, if you think of something that is three words, let me know.

I've come down with some sort of head cold which is just fantastic. I've got a lot going on in these next couple days so this is not a good event to be happening right now. Ughhhhh.

Today I went to my internship for 7 hours and witness some really interesting things. For one, some of my favorite students have started misbehaving and doing things completely opposite of their   previous characters. For another, working more with te high school students is really insightful and dangerous. One of the female students randomly slapped a male counterpart or no real reason. Kids.

April Fools Day

 

On the first day of April, I worked with my internship students and started crafting for initiation! 

My internship has been interesting lately. I have been working with the high school kids a bit more and it is so entertaining to see what all these kids accomplish versus the midr schoolers. I hve also seen some really good kids make terrible choices. Starting fights, voluntarily leaving class and giving up. My favorite students have even been starting to fall behind but they won't talk to me about it which leaves me at a loss. Ugh.

Losing a Student

Today I learned a valuable lesson for both my present self and my future self. Half of  the students at my internship are new and the other half have been in the program for at least a month. There are now a total of 8 middle schoolers which are the group of kids that I work with most often. I'm pretty good buddies with what used to be 4 of the 8. Until today. 

My favorite hate to love/love to hate student ran away from his home for five days, lost his placement at my internship and now he has to go to Pensacola to be apart of a real juvenile detention center. Mikael (not his real name) is not the first student to be labeled on the run nor will he be the last. He was however, a really good kid. I don't know what he did to end up involved with the law but he's  not that troubled of a kid. Mikael hadn't missed a single day of school and he was rocking a 4.0 GPA before he ran. He had completed all of his sanctions and was about to be taken off of probation. He was almost done! 

"Losing" Mikael really upsets me and I've only known him for a month. He was one of the main reasons I was so excite to go every Tuesday and Thursday. I felt that I could possibly make a difference in his life. I still want to. I'm legitimately worried about this 15 year old kid.

The lesson I learned was that I can't let myself get attached so easily. I'm not in control of anyone else's actions so I cannot count on anyone else to keep doing a behavior or to not to a behavior. The same thing applies later on.  I won't be able to count on a client to listen to my opinion or not to relapse or to keep up with a program. As much as I want to, it's not an option.

A Bus Stop

"Hello. My name's Forrest, Forrest Gump. You want a chocolate?" - Forrest Gump 1994

This morning I missed my bus. Again. The temperature also dropped and I woke up late. However, missing my bus is what made me late to my internship. In order to get to my internship I have to take a campus bus and then a city bus followed by walking about a quarter mile. If the city bus was dependable then I would be able to do is no problem. This obviously isn't the case. 

Upon missing my bus and being faced with sitting at the bus stop for 40 minutes, I went in to the convenience store and bought these delicious little (read massive) cinnamon toast crunch treat bars for me and the kids. They are fantastic and you all must try them. Anyway, after I walked out of the store and back to the bus stop, the young man who was already sitting there offered to move his stuff so I could sit down. This is very rare in today's world so I was really grateful that he was willing to do so. Once I sat down I asked him if he was waiting on the E bus. He removed his head phones and that is how Ernest and I began our 40 minute conversation about life. Ernest is going to community college and his is an aspiring music producer. Now this is not meant to sound mean or judgemental but from the 40 minutes I got to sit with him and discuss everything I was able to tell that he has something off about him. He had some trouble speaking and keep eye contact. I would say that he is on the Autism spectrum however that is just what it comes off as. ***I am not yet a licensed professional so I have no merit in saying any of this*** I am however the aunt of a spectacular ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) nephew who is quite frankly the most precious child in the world. The point is I have an idea of the signs.

My other point is he was just so positive, nice, determined and passionate about everything we talked about. It was so refreshing to come across that type of person in a low income neighborhood on the cusp of the "bad" part of town. People surprise me all the time but today Ernest really made my day even if he did weird me out at first. He was genuinely curious about my major and what I wanted to do after college. He was so excited to tell me about his music and all of his aspirations even though I could tell it was an effort for him to talk to me about it. I feel like got off (of the bus we eventually got on) a better person for having talked to him and that makes me happy.

Ernest was nice enough to let me listen to some of the music he has already produced and recorded and while I don't too much about the industry I will say if he keeps at this I will definitely be able to look back at this post and say "I met him at a bus stop once."

Seen Some Things

I was absolutely blown away by the most random things today. One of the kids at my internship asked a fellow mentor for her phone number, all of the kids behaved liked animals during group session, a crazy homeless man on the bus told all of the African American transportees that they needed to find religion and that he was not "raised a fool" because his daddy raised him right, finally one of my students conned said homeless man out of a dollar. All of those events don't even come close to my surprise regarding a new student asked me to buy her a tobacco product when we got to the bus station. Not only is she a minor but she is under my supervision two days a week. To top that off she's probably on probation! I was so blown away by this singular event and the anger she directed towards me for telling her no that I got on the wrong bus. 

The last half of the day was just so surprising that I almost forgot I was three hours late to my internship. I have learned this week that if I go to sleep after 1:30 am I do NOT wake up the next morning when I am supposed to which makes me really unhappy.  I used to be able to do this all the time but once I moved out on my own I lost that ability. 

Well That's Different

Usually there is quote right here followed by a picture of some sort in order to get people's attention. Today didn't warrant that. Today was a little different. 

I went to my internship and worked on my assignment for the class by filming my placement site and interviewing the director of treatment for the kids. Afterwards I joined the kids in the cafeteria and started talking to a few of them about their day. A bunch of them have started to be able to recognize me and talk to me more openly which is great! I really like that a few of them are opening up and not being so quiet or abrasive. 

After lunch, I joined the middle schoolers for math and life skills where we spent 2 hours getting four 14 and 15 year old boys to do a project that consisted of learning how to budget and do percents. Two hours. It was really frustrating but fun none the less. Eventually I was able to help one of the students work on one of his sanction essays to hopefully change his case a little bit.

IN OTHER NEWS MY BIG CAME TO VISIT TODAY AND I'M SO HAPPY BECAUSE I LOVE HER AND SHE PERECT AND IM DONE 

Go To Them

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Today I was evaluated by my site supervisor at my internship and I was able to work more hands on in the class room with the youths. I've been pretty standoffish with my interactions so far just because I've been trying to catch my bearings at my site and the kids can be kind of intimidating. This morning I decided to be more productive with the students. Instead of studying for the GRE or just waiting for the  teachers to need me in the classroom I just jumped in to the classroom and tried to help as many of the kids as possible.

All of the mentors met as a group and talked about goals for the semester. All of us are trying to achieve different things but will all be working together to achieve these goals. Personally I want to become as involved as possible in the treatment of these youths, motivate them to progress and be successful in their program, and I would really like to become heavily involved in four of the youths lives. 

SIDENOTE: IT MIGHT SNOW TOMORROW!!! And based on how cold and wet it was today, I can absolutely see it snowing tomorrow.

Missing a Day

I have no idea if C.S. Lewis actually said that or not but regardless I failed today. And that's not me being dramatic, it's true. I skipped my internship today because I was sick. I couldn't really breathe and my head was pounding so I slept in and took some medicine in hope to recharge for the rest of the week. 

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment to for the final appraisal of my foot. Afterwards I hope to be able to get back to the gym or at least being more physically active. Today's failure is just one of many and I know that. I just hope that there are fewer and fewer of them as time goes on.