Three Little Birds, Sat On My Window.

Being in Tampa makes me wish I had gotten here sooner. I wish I could have been here Thursday through Sunday. I loved spending the week with Peter and looking at apartments (and then fighting about apartments) but being home makes me wish I had spent more time here during this break.

Things are changing. My nephews seem bigger every time I come back. We applied for an apartment. I just finished applying for a transfer at work. I had to interview my old manager for an assignment. It all just feels surreal. I'm nostalgic for 2012 when I didn't have a car and I was new to my job and my nephews were little. I also miss not being interrogated by literally all the adults that I know every time I see them. I LOVE that they care enough to ask but lately, all the adults in my life ask a lot of questions that make me want to pass out. The future is scary. I'm pretty sure it is bright but right now there is a window between me and that brightness and I'm just not quite ready to open that window.

Another Step Forward

This isn't all that exciting but my application has been received and updated for UCF! I am so relieved that everything is in and that I won't be denied based in a technical error. Now I just have to sit back, hope/pray/give good vibes for an invitation to interview for their program. 

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers

Despite all this disappointment and stress yesterday, today made up for it a little bit. I am finally able to do all of the computer actions I haven't been able to do because my status was finally updated in the computer! Yay! Hopefully this is a sign that now that I have freaked out about everything it is all going to get better. 

I also talked to UCF today and found out that I could have submitted my application without my recommendation letters months ago. Isn't that just lovely? I submitted it today and now I just have to wait for one more letter for it to be complete! And for my transcripts to get there. 

"SO SO GRATEFUL"

You know that moment where you look back on a tough section of your life and you think "that wasn't so bad"? Obviously the whole recommenders have bailed thing thwt just happened isnt the worst thing to have to me but now that it is over with I couldn't be more grateful. I honestly haven't had this good of a day in a while and it is all because Dr. Sullivan, Dr. Licht, and my lab supervisor have all come through with letters of recommendation for me. The amount of times I used the words 'grateful' and 'thank you' today in my various emails just baffles me. I do however mean each and every one. I could not be more grateful to these three individuals and I don't think I will ever be able to express it in the right way.

Today also saw me decide to keep my spring admission plan. If I was able to get all of this done in a week so I am going to interpret this as a sign that I am meant to attend a graduate program in spring. Now to just prepare my bank account and my self for another culture shock. 

Starting New Things

Now that I'm allowed to tell everyone, I'm a temp lead at work for the holiday season!! I was allowed to be the Stage Director for two hours today and while it was definitely stressful, I feel like I did an okay job! There is still so much to learn and be comfortable doing but I can definitely do it!

In grad school news, I am now having to accept the fact that I may have to put off attending school in spring. One of my recommenders left the university without ever submitting her letter of recommendation and now I have no way to contact her. The worst part is I found out about this only 18 days before applications are due because I had to wait until the school year started in order to be able to call her office. My next steps have been scrambling to find more recommenders before the September 15th deadline. In my search to do that I have also found out about opportunities I have if I enroll in grad school for the fall. These include a larger intake of students, a chance of receiving funds that are not loans, and it gives me more time to look at other schools. The more I go over all of this the more the fall option seems to stand out but what if I am wrong? What if my only option is this spring admission and if I don't take it, what do I do?