Topsy Turvy Day

I have been awake since 6:30. I just started my paper. It is due in approximately 10 hours. I have three pages. I want to die but this completely my fault and I shouldn't have procrastinated.


UPDATE: I FINISHED IT WITH A FEW HOURS TO SPARE!! And the lady who wanted me to interview with her yesterday called me again to schedule an in person interview for tomorrow! Things are looking up!!

Big Girls Don't Cry (I Wonder Why)

Remember how I said I would be scrambling? It has already begun. After work today, I went to the clinic to A) apply for babysitting/nannying positions because those jobs can end up paying some serious money, B) finish client paperwork so that next Thursday is an easy transition out of the clinic, and C) to have a meeting with the department about my class' experience this semester. I was lucky to have the experience that I and I will stick to that story. None the less, there were things that could have been better so attending the meeting with my classmates needed to happen.

After all of this was finished, I went home to start watching Wall Street for a paper that is due on Tuesday. Things didn't go as planned. My arm started to hurt, I had to have some serious conversations with some people. I got through half of the movie and then fell asleep.

I Wish It Was Sunday

Work, class, stress. I hate my life.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

And sleep and not be stress out and not have to worry about studying things like all of the needless assignments for Multicultural class. AND GIRLS JUST WANT TO FEEL PREPARED FOR TESTS. Well everyone probably does but still. 

Lose Track of My Lifelines, Lose Track of Myself

This week has been a week of early wake up calls which results in not a ton of sleep for someone who has night classes. That being said, I could learn to appreciate that routine if I could figure out how to fall asleep earlier. Anyway, today's work day was very long (9am-6pm) and resulted in three hours of playing the Sims in order to decompress (I MADE A KILLER WEDDING PROPERTY I AM SO PROUD). 

I then got to talk with Peter, Kayla, and Harley who shared their support and checked on me. My co-workers Lindsey(I don't actually know how she spells it) and Lori also checked on me today just to make sure I was doing okay. The answer is I'm doing better with things/ at handling my life, but I'm not okay yet. Words cannot express what it means to me to have so many supportive humans. I am so incredibly grateful. 

This is Exactly What Has to be Done

(Those are obscure lyrics from a Hollywood Undead song btw.) 

I don't have any big announcement that coincides with my title, those lyrics just happen to speak to me.

I'm very tired A., and B., I am overwhelmed. Today started with work followed by a trip to Universal (where I looked hella cute representing Slytherin house) and then apartment research. This doesn't seem like a terrible day right? I just realized so many things about  my financial status and future responsibilities throughout today that I just kind of want to be done with life. I would like to check out of adulthood now, where are my crayons? 

You Give and You Take, You Come and You Go

I thought that using those lyrics as my title would result in me figuring out how to talk about my job and school starting back up (will I survive?!) but inspiration did not strike. As Monday draws near, the realization that this is going to be a stressful semester starts to sink in. It is kind of like being surrounded by that dark void in Kingdom Hearts as Sora falls and the theme song plays? You just have no idea what's going on and you can't get out of it? Yeah, that. Obviously I'm not attempting something really hard like parenting or working 40 hours a week on top of school but for me, my plate is still full. Juggling day practicum, running a group, normal course work, working 19-23 hours a week, self care, and being involved with other humans on a semi-normal basis just... 

also, My blog decided to delete this original post so I had to rewrite it. I hate times being wrong -_-

Stress, Sleep, Repeat

I will open every Sunday for the rest of the year and that it totally fine with me. What I am not prepared for are the crazy hours and amounts of people that are about to come pouring in. On top of the stress I already have from work and the big move that is going to be here so much quicker than I know it, now more stress is about to come from higher guest counts. I will find a way. I will figure out how to balance  guest servicing and tasking and trending and accountabilitying and Merlin knows what else.

Today I got to see Catherine!! Yesterday was her birthday and I heard she had tons of fun! Today I went over to her house to make apple crisp stuff which was yummy and to watch like 4 hours do food network shows. We're fantastic.

Worse Than Others

Today started off really well. I was excited for the opportunity to sleep in and to work with certain people and to finish off my work week strong. I don't know what happened. Luckily I have four days to not worry about it. Four days of glorious-ness and Netflix and seeing old friends. 

I Cried Because

Before I start, I should probably say that I can't tell you all the details. Today was hard. This is the third day of doing the best that I can at the job that I have. Except on the third day everything, felt just a little bit harder. 

I'm a pretty resilient person. But there are some things that I don't even realize are stressing me out until they're over. Now there are things happening for people that I can't talk about in situations I know nothing about that are affecting my life and today I thought I was doing alright regarding those situations. I wasn't completely wrong but I definitely did take more confidence in myself than I had abilities. I totally burst in to tears today when I realized that someone had come back from being away for three days And I did that because I was overwhelmed and  I didn't even know it. As soon as that person came back my thought process was "They're here, they can fix it" and I just started crying. I had never been so glad to see that person in my life than I was at that moment.

Now these aren't tears of sadness but tears of happiness. There were tears of happiness earlier on in the day as well. I was offered an interview for a grad program and I can't even begin to explain how happy and grateful and humbled I am for this opportunity.

I was already on a new adventure both at work and in my personal life but now a new adventure may be starting at school as well. Things are going to get really crazy really fast and I know that I have to keep how stressful my life is in check. I know that I can do this, I was born to do this. Now it is all about making it happen. 

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers

Despite all this disappointment and stress yesterday, today made up for it a little bit. I am finally able to do all of the computer actions I haven't been able to do because my status was finally updated in the computer! Yay! Hopefully this is a sign that now that I have freaked out about everything it is all going to get better. 

I also talked to UCF today and found out that I could have submitted my application without my recommendation letters months ago. Isn't that just lovely? I submitted it today and now I just have to wait for one more letter for it to be complete! And for my transcripts to get there. 

Feeling Slightly Overwhelmed

With all the good and bad news these past few weeks I have been really struggling to find a good balance. I am so thrilled to be gearing up for holiday time but there is just so much informant to learn at work and I'm a self teacher. However, this isn't something I can teach myself. I have to learn it in a timed and busy environment which is what the real challenge is. 

Other than that life is going okay. Wednesday is permit day so I have been reviewing road rules and signs whenever I can. I need to email some more UCF people to let the know that my transcripts may be arriving late due FSU revamping their transcript system. I also need to reserve th first t Fridays in October off for possible interviews. Oh boy.