Keep Reflecting Forward

I walked Anderson home from school because he hates going to karate and then I closed the store. I missed American Horror story but I'll catch up on that later. On the way to his school I passed the baseball fields that I have seen thousands of times. It has my grandfathers name attached to it which I think is pretty cool, even if I don't remember him.

I also passed my middle school which was tons of fun to reflect on. I have the memory of an elephant when it comes to school. I remember every inch of that campus and my schedules. I probably spent about 25 minutes just staring at the track remembering track and field practices and all the times I thought about just running to my grandmothers house and skipping school. Good times.

What I really wanted to talk about was this quote from the lead singer of Thirty Seconds to Mars:

We all go through moments where we completely doubt our abilities or where we second guess why were are where we are. Even moments where we absolutely hate who we have surrounded ourselves with and the choices we've made. We can't let ourselves do that very often and when we do have to go through the moments, it helps to have something that brings us out of them. Mine recently was his quote. It is so obvious but still, it meant a lot to me. I went for anger crying to completely fine when I found it the other day. I like it so much that it even replaced a Hunter Hayes background picture. 

65 Days Left

When I originally sat down to write yesterday's post I was a little angry. I tried my best not the let the anger infuse into the post but it did and I ended up letting fear get the best of me today to go back and change the post. It sounds better now anyways. 

Today isn't the mark of a new month. It isn't like I have new goals to talk about considering every goal I have set out to achieve since I came howe I have either half complete or didn't start. This post is a big deal to me because it is day 300. 65 more days and then my year of every day posting is over. Do I continue after that? Do I chronicle my life through grad school? Will I even have time? It hasn't been quite what i wanted it to be but i learned that it is okay to change your intentions. And I have definitely cheated a little bit and changed my times a little bit (however I only did that on the days that I was physically too tired to write a post). These last two months will be very busy with work, planning for January, packing, cleaning, and who know's what else. I guess all that matters for these next 65 days is that I really try to make each day count.

For today's adventures, I started off kind of rocky. it was my day off and I was very excited to do nothing even though I had a whole to do list. Now, I didn't manage to clean my room today and I didn't find the time amidst the Sims and Facebook to scrub down my tub. I also did not wake up to drive which I really should have but my body said no and forced me back to sleep at 8:55AM. I did however explore the UCF website and figure out what it is I have to do to figure out the transfer of medical records. I called the my student loans place and talked to them about  grad school deferment. I also made my UCF email and emailed the residency people. It was all very reminiscent of when I was accepted in to FSU.

 I came from a pretty spectacular IB program and everyone was telling me I was going to get accepted, and I did. Twice. The process was easy. Applying to grad school I felt nervous and unsure. I wasn't positive that I would get in. But a little voice kept telling me "This is just like last time, this will be easy. Positive energy" and I finally started to listen. I'm lucky to have my graduate program admission. I am blessed by someone or something to have had such an easy process and to have felt like it was little to no effort on my part. Now to spread that energy with my sisters and hope that is helps them as well.