I Cried Because

Before I start, I should probably say that I can't tell you all the details. Today was hard. This is the third day of doing the best that I can at the job that I have. Except on the third day everything, felt just a little bit harder. 

I'm a pretty resilient person. But there are some things that I don't even realize are stressing me out until they're over. Now there are things happening for people that I can't talk about in situations I know nothing about that are affecting my life and today I thought I was doing alright regarding those situations. I wasn't completely wrong but I definitely did take more confidence in myself than I had abilities. I totally burst in to tears today when I realized that someone had come back from being away for three days And I did that because I was overwhelmed and  I didn't even know it. As soon as that person came back my thought process was "They're here, they can fix it" and I just started crying. I had never been so glad to see that person in my life than I was at that moment.

Now these aren't tears of sadness but tears of happiness. There were tears of happiness earlier on in the day as well. I was offered an interview for a grad program and I can't even begin to explain how happy and grateful and humbled I am for this opportunity.

I was already on a new adventure both at work and in my personal life but now a new adventure may be starting at school as well. Things are going to get really crazy really fast and I know that I have to keep how stressful my life is in check. I know that I can do this, I was born to do this. Now it is all about making it happen. 

"No Offense But"

There are days during this blog adventure where I know exactly what I am going to write about as soon  as it happens. Today was going to be one of those days and then I sat myself down and thought it over. How do I write about what happened with out seeming like a petty bitch?  How do I explain to the like 5 people who read this the emotions that I was feeling whil this happened while also not hurting anyone's feelings? I haven't figured it out yet to be honest so I won't write the post I was planning. I am still going to talk about it though. 

Today I was faced with a situation where I could either speak up or stay quiet and I chose to stay quiet much to miss Amanda's disagreeance. I overheard some things (about me) that left me seething at and disappointed in those who were saying them.  In addition to that, I was hurt by their opinions on the matter which leaves me further confused on what to do. Lex (below, from The Tribe) is probably the best physical representation of the feelings of that moment.

Everyone has probably experienced the moment of finding out someone they truste has betrayed them. It's what we do afterwards that makes these experiences unique. Afterwards I came up with various reactions and some of them made me question what kind of person I am. 

All I wanted to do was come home and either cry or beat something. I didn't do either but the urges to do both still haven't quite gone away. Instead I put on my new The Little Mermaid swim suit and took my nephew for a swim.