Wait One Moment

Disclaimer: To avoid any further occurrences of an issue that I faced today, I have posted a public service announcement of sorts below. This is not meant to attack, accuse, call out, offend, or mentally distress anyone but rather allow me to share my honest opinion in the realist way possible If anyone has any questions, concerns, opinions, additions, fun facts, tidbits, snaps, criticisms, or adjustments please use the comment boxes or contact me directly :)

 If you read *my* blog and you find something I have said or done or have expressed in any way offensive then I encourage and ask (read "WOULD STRONGLY PREFER") that you talk to me about it before anyone else. Just out of curiosity, in what way is respectful or proper to tell someone something that I have said (MOSTLY ABOUT MYSELF) in such a way that you're essentially asking the person you are talking to to reprimand me for my opinions? This is a legitimate question.This isn't sarcasm or me being passive aggressive! I am hurt and offended by these actions and I would actually like to know, how is that fair or right? In my book it isn't. It is hurtful and dangerous! I only post things on here that I believe in, that I don't think would hurt anyone, and/or things that I just want to share. What gives anyone the right to then take what I have shared, lightheartedly mind you, and turn it in to something malicious?  I just don't understand. If someone reads my opinion  and doesn't agree or doesn't like it, how is it fair for that person to judge me and then essentially be a tattle tale when I didn't even do anything wrong? All I did was state how I view something! AND what it is that I said was taken out of context! So there are two things to talk to me about! First of all, if you have a concern about it then ask me for clarification. If, after I give you said clarification, you *STILL*  don't like what I have said or how I view *my life* then message or call me back and we'll talk about it. I'm a good listener, trust me.

I'm so bothered by this that I am actually afraid to share this post because Heaven forbid someone misconstrue what I've said here! I'm making myself share it because I refuse to feel... repressed. I just don't feel like I should ever FEAR sharing my opinion. I'm a strong willed person but I'm only going to state something if I don't feel like I am going to get attacked! Drama has already been WAY to apparent in my life so I don't tend to try to attract it.

That being said, I edited the posts in question so that there are no further misinterpretations and wrong accusations that stem from it.

Today also consisted of my being inadvertently late to work, finding an apartment because the house is just too far away, and not cleaning my room because I was so busy looking for a place to live.

All The Time

Now that question sounds more dramatic than I am intending. I also found that in that format on the interwebs so any grammar mistakes in that square do not belong to me. The rest of course do. Anyway, today's post isn't very happy regardless of all the new experiences I am gaining from work. I just feel so stuck and yet out of place due to this whole grad school debacle. I really don't know what I should do. I have thought of four people to email an call tomorrow (DAY OFF WOOO) however those people don't know what I am capable of. I have interacted with them enough to be comfortable talking to them in class but to ask for a recommendation? I don't think I have earned that honor. I just highly dislike the confusion and general LIFE ALTERING WEIGHT of this situation. I believe in fate and that the universe/Merlin/God/Banana People from planet Pluto has/have a reason for everything, I just cannot figure out what the reason is for losing a recommender. Maybe I'm not meant to see it right now but the idea that this would happen just weeks before final applications are due even though I have been emailing them since March is just baffling to me.

In regards to the square of text. I understand that not everyone, myself included, is happy all the time. That isn't a normal thing to expect. There are going to be stressors and situations that alter are emotional state. I will say though, the amount of people who could answer that questions "everyday" is one of the reasons I want to be a counselor. You shouldn't feel trapped or scared or sad but fake being happy. And if you do then you shouldn't feel compelled to fake being happy.


ALSO: To the anonymous commenter on the post prior to this one who told me I was born to do the things I have been working on at work. You are awesome and I thank you so much for your encouragement!