"No Offense But"

There are days during this blog adventure where I know exactly what I am going to write about as soon  as it happens. Today was going to be one of those days and then I sat myself down and thought it over. How do I write about what happened with out seeming like a petty bitch?  How do I explain to the like 5 people who read this the emotions that I was feeling whil this happened while also not hurting anyone's feelings? I haven't figured it out yet to be honest so I won't write the post I was planning. I am still going to talk about it though. 

Today I was faced with a situation where I could either speak up or stay quiet and I chose to stay quiet much to miss Amanda's disagreeance. I overheard some things (about me) that left me seething at and disappointed in those who were saying them.  In addition to that, I was hurt by their opinions on the matter which leaves me further confused on what to do. Lex (below, from The Tribe) is probably the best physical representation of the feelings of that moment.

Everyone has probably experienced the moment of finding out someone they truste has betrayed them. It's what we do afterwards that makes these experiences unique. Afterwards I came up with various reactions and some of them made me question what kind of person I am. 

All I wanted to do was come home and either cry or beat something. I didn't do either but the urges to do both still haven't quite gone away. Instead I put on my new The Little Mermaid swim suit and took my nephew for a swim.

Did Some Things

Soooooooo I may have given my self two rest days. And I may have cheated on today's ab challenge by doing all of my sit ups in my bed.  60 sit ups after two rest days is really difficult on a yoga mat. Essentially what is going to happen now is that I will skip  next scheduled rest day and then I will be back on track. I walked my dog today though!!

In other news, today was going to be a make up day and in a sense it was. I just didn't do an out of the box look. Instead, today I will talk about the Katy Perry Covergirl collection I picked up last week. (Not my picture below p, I didn't want to get up and take one but the colors are right. I did NOT buy nail polish though)

 I really like the concealer, it covers my under eye darkness really well. As far as the foundation color goes, I ended up having to go get 110  because 105, which is the collections lightest color (normally what I am) was TOO light. That never happens. What happens a lot though is having to go down a color because the shade is too dark which is the problem with 110. I was so excited for this collection because its oil free and protects against unwanted shine so my heart broke when I realized 110 was too dark. However, being the resourceful human that I am and seeing as I can't return my open/used foundation I decided to layer them so that 105 goes on first and then 110. This brings the contrast down enough for me to be able to wear the foundation and I'm happy with it! It definitely stays on and the shine  is very minimal so points for that. I still haven't figured out how to use the powder which is mostly due to not knowing what to do with powder foundation to begin with. 

Storyline challenge for today consists of writing "what LOVE means to [me]." Now, I'm not exactly sure if they mean L.O.V.E. or if they are talking about expressing what I think being in love is like. So I'll do both. 

Listen

Observe

Validate

Emote

That acronym comes from being a psychology major and taking in to account how couples/families should work through conflict and talk to each other in order to be considered "functional." I'm not sure that is even an original acronym but I think its clever. If you're with someone you should be willing to listen to their issues/stories/feelings/whatever and observe their actions/body language/choices/whatever without judging them. Take what is happening at face value. Validate their issues/choices etc. as having meaning or being of importance to them and then emote or express your feelings about the situation. L.O.V.E. somebody. 

If we're talking about being in love or loving somebody there's really not much I can say. I know Af,ill love first hand and I know being in puppy love. I can't honestly say that I've been in love. I thought I was at one point but I can't agree with that statement now. I hope that love is a whirlwind experience that brings you and your partner closer together; that it means you can depend on one another and that you have trust, communication, acceptance, and passion between you. 

Thats the best I got. 

All the Compliments

I sing. Sometimes not very well but I sing. My sister pursued a singing career and she could have made it but she had to come home to help take care of my mother. She would give me pointers when I was really little but I was shy and I didn't like to sing in front of people. As I got older, the pointers would turn to random little compliments or critiques as I was singing around the house or in the car. One day they just stopped and then the only time she would say anything was when I asked for feedback. Now, she's back to openly adding her opinion. I get more critiques than anything else in my opinion but I'm probably just only noticing the negative parts.

I tell you this story because I get compliments on my voice ALL THE TIME at work. I constantly have guests asking me if I'm trained musically or if I'm a singer. Today was one of those days. I had 8 people tell me something positive about my voice. When I tell them I don't think I'm very good or that I've been told I'm not by good they straight up laugh or shake their heads and tell me I'm wrong. 

What.

A Long Day

Maybe not quite as long as long cat but my day was definitely long for only having been back at work for the second time.

This is definitely not meant to be taken as a "woe is me! I had to work for seven hours! My life is so difficult," type of post. I appreciate having the hours and having a job in general. I just have never been the primary every thing at my job for 5/7 hours and for a Wednesday we were fairly busy.

Today I met many people who were here on vacation. People from Australia, Austria, Brazil, and Curacao came in to the store to get all kinds of gifts and clothes for loved ones and themselves. It so interesting to me to hear everyone's story when they come to the store. The couple that visited from Austria, for instance, is here with their children and grandchildren for the first time. Tomorrow they will be going to Disney for the first time and they wanted to pick up some shirts. Go them. What was really interesting about the couple's story was the grandfather figure had visited Florida 25 years ago and he was really excited to make comparisons. So far, as he told me, everything as changed and its magnificent. We are a "beautiful state."

I Should've Said

Assuming that everyone has something they look back on and wish they had done differently isn't a far fetched idea in my opinion. I personally have a laundry list of things I wish had panned out differently based on how I wish I had responded. More specifically, I have a list of occurrences where I wish I had spoken differently.

You know when you get into little spats with people and they turn into (sometimes) playful insult battles where the whole point is to come up with the best come-back? Think MTV's "Yo Momma." Now that we're all on the same page, you know that time after the come-back war is over and you think of all of the perfect little insults/sly sayings you could have said? That is essentially what I'm talking about when I say I have a lot of occurrences where I wish I had spoken differently.

My favorite least favorite past time is rehashing conversations and beating my self up over all the stupid things I said versus all the things I've come up with instead. Or when I don't say anything at and then hate myself for not telling someone like it is. For example, I have this friend who makes me want to shoot myself most times we talk. Do I tell this friend this? No. This friend would freak out and call me mean. Doesn't mean I don't want to tell this friend that they drive me insane. 

The whole point of this massive post is that I've realized there are things I never said to people I met in college that I'll probably never get to say. This really bothers me. I was never brave enough to just come out and say certain things to certain people and I dislike this about myself. How many time's has this happened before? What else have I not said? 

Tearing Us Apart

"Our differences are what make us unique"

I overheard something today that saddened me a bit. I overheard a conversation between a few people basically trying to punish someone for something he or she could not control. It is not the person being punished's fault he or she is a bit different. It is not his or her fault that he or she has a mental disability. It isn't his or her fault that he or she physically cannot do something the same way another person would.

So why aren't these people doing the punishing realizing that? It isn't his or her fault. Would you expect to be punished for something when you literally cannot control your behavior? Is that fair? Is that something that would be considered social appropriate? Because I don't think that it is. I don't think that it's fair to judge a person based on differences they cannot control. Mental disability, race, sexual orientation all of it. If there is something that is beyond a person's conscious control what gives ANYONE the right to assume the role of God or karma over that person's life? Nothing. 

If you can't handle differences then I implore you to try to learn what makes the differences apparent. I beg you to understand differences at their roots and try to at least respect that someone else is different from you, that there is no way of changing that and that there is nothing wrong with this. It shouldn't be this hard. 

***I don't actually know the person I overheard the people talking about. I overheard enough of the story though to know that this person is mentally disabled which is why it made an impact in my life. 

Patience and Civility

"You follow old Rafiki... He knows the way!" -Rafiki- The Lion King 1994 

Remember how I said people will have an impact on you? Today's impact was reminding me to be patient and civil. I went to my orthopedist to have my foot reevaluated and to hopefully be cleared to go back to work (I wasn't) when I had a lovely little run in with some obnoxious people. Now, I call them obnoxious because that is how *I* viewed their actions but maybe someone else would say differently. That's essentially the point of the picture above in my opinion. 

To start, the receptionist for the clinic seemed very grumpy and bored with her life and didn't seem to care that she was snapping at people. As a receptionist, I cannot say that I blame her for feeling that way. However, as a customer service agent (which she is, as am I) it is expected that each guest to your establishment be treated civilly at the very least.  Lets just say she failed in that department and needs to learn some manners. The other obnoxious person of the day was a fellow patient who previously experienced a hard time with the same receiptionist. I went up to the desk and waited in line to ask a question when she quite literally jumped in front of me with her paper work. Did she not see me standing there with my crutches? Maybe she thought I wasn't in line? I have no idea. 

In both of these instances all I wanted to do was tell these individuals off. I wanted to call out the receptionist for her demeanor and ask if she ought to go home if that was the way she was planning on interacting with people. I wanted to tap the woman who stole my spot on her shoulder and ask whether she was blind or if cutting people was an accepted social skill where she comes from. But I didn't. Instead I reminded myself that not everyone is raised the same way and not everyone is going to deal with a situation they way I would. And that is okay. I have to make the choice to treat these people in a civil manner and be patient with them. It's not all about my self and as an aspiring therapist I need to remind myself of this more often.

"You have to look beyond what you see" -Rafiki- Lion King 1 1/2

On a positive note, my doctor was a pretty cool dude. He was pretty concerned about the shenanigans I've been doing with my foot and gave me explicit instructs for the future. He hates my school but otherwise very friendly and funny. My nephew recently broke something in his foot and we have the same doctor so I am glad to know our doctor is going to take good care of him.