Really Last Minute

So, I had this whole post planned for today that involved talking about believing in yourself and lists and TinkerBell. Actually, I have wanted to post it for a while. Alas, work and school and naps and packing and cleaning got in the way.

New post: two days until I graduate. Whoa. Thats really scary. Its also three more days until I move home. Oh goodness.

Supposed to be...

I don't know how many time I said that today. "I'm supposed to be studying. I'm supposed to be packing. I should be eating." I'm sure that I said it five million times today and I'll probably say it all night and day tomorrow. I went and got my graduate advice from my professor but instead of coming home and either studying or studying, I slept for five hours. And then I streamed the new Hunter Hayes album on iTunes. And then and finally got food and boxes. And then I blogged about  all of the stuff I should have been doing. Why do I do this?

The Final Week

Finals week arrived yesterday when I went to hang out with Brandi. My final week as an Undergrad started today. I thought that today was my easy day. I could just kind of lounge around and not worry about anything. So that is what I did. Until one of my teachers told me I had not completed and assignment that I knew I had completed. So, I went to her office and showed her the paper work. Okay. Cool. Problem solved, went home.

Home consisted of doing absolutely nothing, walking to get BBQ pulled pork, and then meeting a sister before work.When I finished with that, I went to start my last til 2AM shift at work and realized that what I thought was just an easy day was actually me forgetting I had a shift this morning. A five hour opening shift that I completely forgot about. It didn't even occur to me. I felt like such a dumbass when I walked in to work. How does someone forget about five hours of working? How??? How did I manage to just forget about all of this. Ugh.

Such a great start to my last week here. Tomorrow will consist of meeting with one of my professors to help write my goal statement for my UCF graduate application. And packing. Then a super sneak preview of "Neighbors." Zac Efron shirtless for most of a 2 hour movie? Yes please.

Magic Tom Hiddleston

After missing graduation pictures with my sorority because I overslept, I proceeded to sit in my bed and do absolutely nothing for five hours. Eventually Brandi and I made plans to keep her focused on studying. That worked for like an hour and then we went and got ice cream followed by watching "Magic Mike," attempting to replicate some of the dance moves, and then we watched like 45 minutes worth of Tom Hiddleston videos. 

We are ending the night with a movie called "The 9th Gate" starring Johnny Depp which is about some Satan witch craft nonsense. Woo.

Bad Life Choices

Everyone makes them. I thought that my last week in undergrad would bebad life   choices free but I was apparently wrong.

I won't go into details on here, if you really want to know then you'll ask me. Lets just say I ended up somewhere I shouldn't have been and things happened (again) that I'm not entirely okay with. *I* didn't drink or do drugs or anything, I'm just not entirely okay with what ended up happening. 

You love and you learn I guess.

Sorority Senior Flyups

Said my final goodbyes to my sisters. It was bittersweet. More to come.

Finally Caving In

As you might have guessed, I caved. What did I cave on? My 113 days of being soda free. I have been debating giving myself a cheat day for a while but I have ALWAYS denied myself that luxury. I didn't want to drink the stuff. Today however, it was necessary. I haven't gotten more than six hours of sleep on any given night this past week. Between my final meetings with my sorority, the ceiling leaking, work, wanting to make it to all of my last classes, and my practicum PLUS all of the tests and assignments that happen the week before final's week, I haven't had the ability to be asleep by 12.

Last night I went to bed around 2:00 am and had to be up at 6:30 to be at my practicum site by 7:00. Thank you so much to the amazingly, WONDERFUL Brianna for letting me crash at her house and then waking up with me at an ungodly hour to drive me to my practicum. You're a beautiful human and I love you.

Today was technically my "last" day with my practicum students and in order to completely all my hours on time, I had to get to the site BEFORE IT OPENED. This is all because my evil practicum teacher (not affiliated with the site) refused to let me turn in my signed hours if my hours extended past 12 on April 25th. Word cannot describe how excited I am to NEVER have to deal with this woman ever again. Anyway, I spent ten and a half hours at my site. During this time I managed to get in an almost 2 hour long nap thanks to some really boring war movie that the staff decided to have them all watch. I was a little sad to see some of the kids leave today. It finally hit me that after next week, I won't be involved in their lives anymore. I won't get to ask them how everything was or sit with them and help them succeed in a subject. These kids need permanent guidance from someone and I was so privileged to have been that person for these last few months.

My day is not yet finished though. After my practicum I had to go straight to work where I have been and where I will stay until 2 in the morning. Woo. 

Last Family Outing

This week is almost over which means I'm that much closer to being finished with my undergraduate career. *Humongous sigh*

That being said, tonight was my last family dinner with my sorority family and all my littles were in attendance which means so much to me. I also went over to some sisters' apartment for one of our final venting session. I'm going to miss everyone so incredibly much I really don't know what I'm going to do. 

Personality: Twenty Statements

In my psychology of personality class we learned about this test that is used in various types of research for personality. The whole point of the exercise is that you are to write twenty statement sentences. Those are your only instructions. What you write is up to you. I thought this would be a fun little activity to do for a post so here we are.

Twenty Statements

I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am an aunt.
I can ride a horse and not fall off.
I possess the ability to know when I am or am not on key.
I have failed at something at one point or another.
I did not know who my father was until I was eleven.

I'm technically an orphan.

I have little to no confidence in my appearance.

I do have confidence in my ability to argue/prove my point.

I never considered my self the popular kid or the girl with a lot of friends.

I'm weird.

I'm okay with being weird. 

I'm a good liar.

I took pride in being a good liar for a long time.

I'm scared of being elderly.

I'm often scared of my sister.

I know that I'm worth something.

I believe in myself.

I had a hard time coming up with these statements 

Just Be Somebody

 

 I started today at 7:30am when I told myself: "This is your last week of classes as an undergraduate college student. Make this week count." When I walked out to the bus stop, I was greeted with this message. "Be somebody."

This is a great message for someone who is A, almost finished with her first degree and B, who has been doubting themselves a little. I have been pretty lax the last half of this semester. Sure, its ebbed and flowed but I can't deny that it happened. And as I've stated before, I don't want to be that person. 

If you didn't know already, I am a huge believer in signs be it from a deity or the energy of the universe. Signs exist, you just have to recognize them. As soon as I saw this sticker this morning I knew that it was a sign. I knew that it meant I had made a good choice for the day by not wasting it (obviously a good choice) and I knew that it would be the inspiration for today's post. We should all be striving to be somebody. We should all want to be the absolute best versions of ourselves doing the most influential and meaningful things that we can be doing. Go out and be someone.

Today I was a good college student, something I haven't been in a while. I attended all of my classes (GO ME), went to work, sent out the first 13 graduation announcements (Oh goodness), and then I helped to elect the new e-board and chairs for my sorority before going back to work until 2 AM. I am SO confident in these girls and the changes they are going to bring to this organization.

I was also greeted with this lovely reminder about how quickly my time at school is going by. My family and friends told me that it would be a quick journey just like my high school career was. I am excited to end this chapter and hopefully start a new one very soon.

Helping, "Hop", Tacos

The Boredom Saga continued today as I had nothing to do once again. I took today to finish addressing my graduation announcements and watching even more movies. "Avatar" is a glorified "Pocahontas." "Beautiful Creatures" was really confusing. "Hop" was cute but underwhelming. "Tangled" wins at life.

I also spent some time today helping a good friend out with some issues she has been having. I gave her the best advice I could think of and then she sent me the picture above. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Taco Bell finished the day. Happy Easter everyone.

Very Potter Saturdays

If you haven't already seen A Very Potter Musical I suggest you do so. Especially if you have a group of awesome individuals who can appreciate its creative and artistic genius (i.e. laugh hysterically). That's what I did with my Saturday. AND THEY BROUGHT ICE CREAM.

Boredom: The Struggle

I guess this is what I get for skipping class today (we were watching a movie at 9 in the morning... There is no point). 

I really don't think I've ever been this bored. I've watched multiple shows and movies and played every iPad and iPod game that I own. I've read countless forum and blog posts, stalked Vine and Twitter, and spent WAY too many hours on Facebook today. 

Is this what being done feels like? Technically speaking I could be working on study guides for the two tests I have in two weeks but if I do them now then I won't have anything to do later. I got so bored earlier I thought about cleaning my apartment. 

I cannot handle being this bored but I have nothing to do and no one to go hang out with. Sfnusinguosdsdjkdsbgoisdbgsdliniodsgn. 

Degree in Three

So my first of three graduation ceremonies was today. When I started school, I walked on as a sophomore and I knew that I would be getting out of here early. Thank heaven. One less year to pay for. One less year to push through. One more year I can use towards graduate school.

In order to get out of here in three years I needed some assistance. This came in the form of the Degree in Three Program which allows students with accelerated credit to have priority registration in order to get the classes we need in a timely manner. 

Today I was congratulated and celebrated for having achieved my degree in three years. I shook person X, Y, and Z's hand and heard other students' stories about the program and their collegiate career. I told my story (briefly) and then it was over. 

Go me. Go us. Go class of 2014. 

Preventing Check Out

Because my G.R.E. worries are over, I officially have nothing to do on a day to day basis. My classes are really easy and I can't be at my internship anymore than I already am. My time with my sorority is almost at an end. I have nothing to stay on top of other than my grad school applications. 

Having this much free time doesn't work well for me. You see, now that I'm not stressed out I'm not as motivated to stay on top of everything. This is obviously a problem. I skipped class on Monday to take care of the key situation. Well, because my first class was canceled today and because I didn't have any reason to be on campus anymore after work, I skipped my last class of the day. This. Isn't. Good. 

I need to find something new to stress about which I think is going to be packing my life back into boxes and preparing for the move back home. Hopefully that will give me motivation for class. 

Maybe not.

Sidebote: my first of three graduation ceremonies is tomorrow!! 

Surprises are Surprising

The passed 22 hours have been kind of hectic. Lets recap shall we?

Last night all of my technological devices decided to inform me of my incredible wrongness regarding when I thought my G.R.E. date was and let me know that my test was April 15th. That's today. Okay. Thanks for that technology! Glad you were right and that I was smart enough to set you! Ugh.

Then I scrambled to find a ride to the testing center this morning. Thank you so much to one of my sisters (who is also one of my spectacular littles) for saving my butt and taking me to take the test! You rock.

The most surprising part of the day though was after I finished the test. You see, I am applying to two schools for mental health counseling. One of those schools still uses the old scores for the G.R.E. so to be a competitive candidate you need to have a 1000 between your verbal and quantitative sections. I have been worrying about my math score for the last five to six weeks. All of my practice tests were showing little improvement in math and I was slowly losing hope. Then I took the test. After sitting down and completing some of the hardest math I've ever done.  I sat there for a good minute and debated if I wanted to send my scores at all. I was certain that my scores were going to be terrible. And then I managed to get a 157 and a 150. When you look at the conversion tables for the old G.R.E. scores I end up with a combined score of 1190. I officially possess a competitive score for my graduate school choices. Woo! 

Cutting It Off

Okay, so that title can be a little misconstrued but I'm talking about my hair. 

Since my sophomore year of high school I've chopped off my hair pretty regularly. When I went to college I let it grow out for almost a year but my hair does better above my ears. It just does. Boy hair works for my hair. 

I call it boy hair purposefully. Its short. I know. Its not very feminine in the back. I know. Do I think I look like a boy? Sometimes. Does that matter? No. 

Does it bother me and make me doubt myself and my decision to chop it off  whenever someone (usually a male) tells me I have boy hair? Yes and no. It used to for sure. I would doubt getting my hair that short because society was telling me "No, not feminine. No thats a sign of identifying with more masculine traits. You're hair is how I know you're a lesbian." Well society is wrong. My hair is fanfuckingtastic. Its usually filled with bows and it makes me look prettier in my opinion. More feminine. And no, my short hair is not how you know I'm a lesbian. Why? Because I'm not and thats a stupid stereotype to embrace. I just don't want to deal with the tremendous amounts of curly, poofy hair that would adorn my scalp if I didn't tame it. 

I have short hair because I like short hair. I want short hair. If you don't like my hair, that's fine. That is your opinion. Be glad you're not me then and don't cut your hair short. If you like my hair, that's also fine. We probably have more things we can talk about in regards to my head but other than that, the situation doesn't really change.

GRE and Meatballs

Last night I went out with some friends and sisters and ended up losing my house keys. Go me.

This morning (afternoon) I woke up to a text from a sister who invited me over for pizza and to hang out while I did GRE math prep.

WHICH by the way is the most miserable thing any one can ever participate in. I hate math. I hate math prep. No. But pizza was fun. We watched Disney movies while ate and while I did GRE work. Around 4:30 I decided that I needed spaghetti and meatballs in my life so we went to the store, found meatballs, invited one of my sister's friends over and had spaghetti and meatballs. Yay.

Racing the Clock

I'm racing clock in many different aspects of life. Lets count down shall we? 

I have:

- 9 days until I take the G.R.E.

-12 day until I say goodbye to my sorority 

- 20 days until graduation

- 22 days until I move back home

- 51 days until Hunter Hayes

- 263 days until I finish my blog.

Okay, the last one is a stretch but I figured I'd throw it in there. These next three weeks are going to be intense and what made me realize how quickly this has all gone by were some of the conversations I had with family members I talked to today. They all told me how proud they were to see me get to where I am today. Some of them are even experiencing achievements of their own (SO EXTREMELY PROUD OF THOSE BY THE WAY!!) and I don't want to miss out on anything. 

You have all the time you give yourself. I need to start using mine wisely.

Change Not Accepted

Warning: a rant is ensuing

My school kind of did this thing where it changed some stuff and now everyone is mad. You'd think it wouldn't be that big of and deal but everyone is very, VERY angry with the people behind this change. Including me.

As I walked home from class today, I finally figured out what exactly makes me so mad about all of this. Launching the campaign titled "Ignition Tradition" and then telling us that change is the best way to keep tradition was their first mistake. Tradition is about repetition and sanctity. It does not experience large changes. By changing a tradition too much it becomes a new tradition all together. I repeat, NEW TRADITION. You are no longer upholding the same tradition as before. You literally cannot drastically change a tradition and call it te same as before. 

Their second mistake was failing to alert and involve the student body in the changes. These people took something that was recognizable and sacred; something that displayed power, conviction, and determination to everyone who saw it and altered it with out asking the majority of the target population's opinion. They short changed the hundred of thousands of people who they want to buy the new product. They tried to shove the unwanted change to

our tradition down our throats and expected us not to say anything. How is that a smart business move?? How can what is essentially a business look at its target audience and say: " Yes, I think its a good move for us to change everything they are used to. They will obviously like it because we like it,"? Thats a pretty large gamble in my opinion and while they did ask for some approval, they didn't ask where it mattered. 

The choices made by all parties involved make me really angry with my school's judgement. I feel cheated and played. How would they feel if the students rallied together and suddenly unveiled a new uniform policy for all the staff that made them were Daisy Duke's and Hawaiian shorts everyday of their life and just expected them to be fine with it?

We are supposed to represent a tribe that is unconquered. Unconquered. They stuck to their guns and played the game smart to remain a tribe and not be picked off the planet by invading humans. Telling the student body to accept something we hate is essentially telling us to give up. Admit defeat, sell our lands and build casinos. It is telling us to stop being unconquered. It is saying that we have no say in our school and that we are to deal with what we're given. 

Well they're wrong. I don't have to deal with it. I don't have to buy anything or like your decision. I won't be conquered by consumerism and greed. 

100 Happy Days

"Clap along if you feeling like happiness is the truth" Happy - Pharell 

If you're on Instagram or Facebook then you've probably seen the #100HappyDays tag that has been circulating through out your friends list or maybe you're participating in it. 

I started my blog 100 days ago and probably before the tag existed. In those 100 days, I've experienced a plethora of exciting and new things while also being let down and feeling like I'll never be joyous again. I've had days were I felt on top of the world and I've had days where all hell broke loose. Did I have the hardest last three months imaginable? Absolutely not. Was I happy every single day? Absolutely not.

Although, I'm fairly certain that every blog post has had a silver lining message in it somewhere. That's all that matters. I was happy for a split second every single day when action X happened. Am I supposed to stop that now that I've reached 100 days? Does that just go away? 

I don't think so. Happiness is what you make of it. You want to be happy? Be happy! Find the thing that makes you happy and spend three minutes of your day doing it. Find a happy thing. Be happy. 

It Is Done

WE DID IT! WE DID IT! OH YEA YEA YEA!!!

Brandi and I performed our dance! We performed at a no contest talent show and we were honestly the most lively group. We messed up a little bit but we still feel really confident about our dance and what we brought to the table. Our stepping was on point!!

Into the Groove

"You threw off my groove!" -Kuzco The Emperor's New Groove

That's what has been wrong this last week, I've been out of my groove. I had a routine for awhile and then I allowed myself to break it and try a new routine. It didn't work for all aspects of my life and that had negative repercussions in a general sense. Now I know.

I tried to get back into the groove today and got my self to my internship where I worked with students and focused on whatever I needed to do. Afterwards I went to a sister's house to help her with some stuff and to try to study. Unfortunately I suck and no studying was accomplished. However, I feel better about today. I feel a little better about myself and my actions so I think it's progress. 

Keeping It Positive

 "Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in the magic will never find it!" -- Ronald Dahl

That quote doesn't really have any relevance to this post but I like it so why not right? 

I decided to turn today into a mental health day and didnt finish the last half of my day. I went to a meeting but that's a out it. This weekend, while not seeming that stressful, really threw me for a loop and I will wasn't able to get up today and feel normal. Did I mention I dislike this? A LOT. It not a good reason to skip out on life but it is what it is. Sue me.

Something I did do today was finish the dance with Brandi. Finished. FIN-ISHED. I'm so excited. I'm also excited to use one of the techniques I use on my kids on myself for the conclusion of today's insightful look at my life.

I asked my kids to do two tasks: Write five positive words that describe them. Write five positive words that they wouldn't usually use to describe themselves. 

Here are my answers:

1. Knowledgeable 

2. Analytical

3. Hard-pressed

4. Cordial 

5. Well-versed

1. Driven

2. Responsible 

3. Classy

4. Organized

5. Beautiful

I challenge anyone who reads this to answer those questions. You don't have to post them, just answer. You might be like me and find that you have a hard time answer one or the other. You may be able to answer both. Who knows! But still, do it! 

Having Mental Breakdowns

... Isn't fun. Especially because of your life choices even those some of those life choices weren't even that bad of life choices. 

In short, over the last week I'm mad questionable time management decisions, I've behaved completely out of turn (insert Kelly Clarkson's I DO NOT HOOK UP here (no I didn't hook up with anyone... Technically)) and I've realized I'm starting to fall behind in stuff just because I know I can get away with it. This isn't okay. I don't like this me. I don't want to be this way. That's one of the many reasons I started this adventure into blogger world, to hold my self accountable for every thing I do and lately I haven't been. 

My actions over the last few days, why not illegal or immoral or anything along those lines, have no been my favorite. I don't behave that way. It's never been how I view my self and I judge others hardcore for pulling some of the thing I pulled this week. These were things I used to stand for and now I'm deprecating all of my own actions. 

April was supposed to be the back in track month. So far I've experienced failure, procrastination, a little too much fun, and a complete lack o motivation. I CAN'T LET THIS STAY THIS WAY. 

Tomorrow things change. Tomorrow I snap out of this rut I seem to be in and get my life back on track. Done with this.

My Final Formal

LSeeing as this is my final spring semester, it was also my final formal with my sorority which is bittersweet. 

Am I excited to be leaving this town? Yes. To infinity, yes. Do I want to leave this girls? No. Absolutely not. I lived for dances in high school and I won two awards for dances at formal. I'm going to miss these events and the people who put them on. Oh goodness.

Oh My Goodness

Remember how I talked about getting sick? Well that happened in full force today. Cough, feeling like death, sneezing. All of it. I hate this. I hate this so much. Because I felt so gross I had to miss my test and now I'm a day behind in some crafting and some assignments.

On the upside, my sorority initiated 10 new sisters. Since lining ya'll

^insert title here^

I couldn't think of anything to call this post so, if you think of something that is three words, let me know.

I've come down with some sort of head cold which is just fantastic. I've got a lot going on in these next couple days so this is not a good event to be happening right now. Ughhhhh.

Today I went to my internship for 7 hours and witness some really interesting things. For one, some of my favorite students have started misbehaving and doing things completely opposite of their   previous characters. For another, working more with te high school students is really insightful and dangerous. One of the female students randomly slapped a male counterpart or no real reason. Kids.

Pretty Normal Day

Today was full of school and work. And then food. 

I've been practically living at one of my sisters' houses since Monday because it is easier to get to my internship and to campus. She took me to my morning class today which starts the long trek of Mondays and Wednesday. Afterward I go to my work study job and then to another class. Today I ended up skipping the second class to make an early dinner with a friend of mine. He ended up making all of it but I did learn how to make breaded steak!! 

A nap and a meeting took place sometime between food and this post which is taking place before studying at the sister's house. Yep.

April Fools Day

 

On the first day of April, I worked with my internship students and started crafting for initiation! 

My internship has been interesting lately. I have been working with the high school kids a bit more and it is so entertaining to see what all these kids accomplish versus the midr schoolers. I hve also seen some really good kids make terrible choices. Starting fights, voluntarily leaving class and giving up. My favorite students have even been starting to fall behind but they won't talk to me about it which leaves me at a loss. Ugh.