I'm, Gonna Swing, From the Chandelier

Even though I physically felt better today, I generally did not feel good. I saw my clients and failed at conducting group but I wasn't quite back to normal. I'm not sure where to go with this feeling. I know I don't want to do anything other than watch TV but I have things I know I need to accomplish. I also do not want to go back to work. This is not good either.  I wish I could pinpoint where this unhappiness or uncheerfulness stems from. It is imperative that I get back to normal. 

The Gray Where We Live

Normally my title ends with "between wrong and right" because that is how Mr. Hunter Hayes wrote the song but that part doesn't make sense if I'm using the lyric to describe my sick day. I took off of work because I felt awful and my body as demanding rest. I went to the doctor (physican's assistant) and she told me to take Mucinex and Sudafed. She was right. I felt better after taking that and finding some Panera but I didn't feel great and that is where the gray comes in. 

I watched Divegent instead of working on treatment plans and played iPad games. I am now seeing double and my whole life lacks visual brightness as well physical brightness. Gray is a good descriptive word to describe how I feel and how my life has looked today. 

Now to survive practicum tomorrow, update my groups wiki at some point, and hope to not have to work on Friday. 

hmmm, Whatcha Say

It has been a pretty average day minus it being the real Valentine's Day. And the fact that I feel worse. I've been sick for like two weeks now and I'm just not sure what to do. Doctors are expensive!

Anyway, I should have gone to bed three hours ago seeing as tomorrow is the day from hel- I mean Monday. 5 AM. UGHHH. But, instead I played Sims (there is a really good quest right now guys) and made a spread sheet of apartments. We are going to pick from this list dangnabit. We have some exclusion criteria but in theory we would like a one bedroom apartment that allows pets, has a washer and dryer, and is in a neighborhood that isn't going to get us shot. So what do I do? I fall in love with a two bedroom house/apartment thing that is in an area known as Crime Hills. Go me guys, go me.


I'm just going to go cough myself to sleep now. Peace.

Wait. Forgot. Thanks again to my wonderful boyfriend who gave me such a nice early Valentine's Day night last night! It was so sweet and I loved it so much!

Sometimes I Cannot Feel My Face

And sometimes I can because of nasal congestion and general nose pain. Aside from that, Peter and I had an entertaining date night. We looked at apartments, played video games (Inintroduced him to flappy bird), talked about some politics, and found food items (FREE CHIPOTLE!!) so that was nice. 

Now to pass out so that I can go to work and then be all pretty for early Valentine's Day activities.

Peace ya'll

A Tale of Tears

The last four days have been exponentially harder than I predicted them to be. My thought process was that I would finish my last shift on Tuesday and cry and be sad that I was leaving some awesome people behind. Ell the tears started around 2:30 in the morning on Tuesday because I started running a fever and hallucinating and everything hurt. The next three hours were spent in and out of consciousness until I finally was able to keep my self awake long enough to call the shipment team and tell them that I was not coming in.  This made me even more sad because I missed my last shift! I missed my last chance to have fun with my team and to say goodbye to my store. Stupid sickness. Stupid fever. I hate feeling not normal. 

However, the next two days weren't any easier. I knew I had to pack my room while still feeling like I was hit by a bus but I had no motivation to on Tuesday so Wednesday inherited that project. I had to do this and keep my self alive all while not being allowed to go outside of my room without sanitizing. i got to a point where packing was just so boring and depressing that i sat in box and literally packed myself. 

I should not have done this. All it did was make me sad about leaving and not being able to say goodbye to work and my nephews. I wasn't allowed to have fun with my nephews because we couldn't risk them getting sick. Eventually I did get out of the box and continued to pack but it wasn't a fun day. Thursday morning I was able to give one nephew a hug and say a very small goodbye before continue to pack everything. Amanda came to shove my stuff and my self in her car and we got to Orlando around 2:30. We struggled for 30 minutes to get half of the stuff from her car up 3 flights of stairs to my apartment before I had to go to orientation. Orientation went fine but my quest for a shower rod afterward did not. And I forgot to buy a tooth brush and detergent.

I ended my first day in Orlando wanting to go home and thinking about all of the things that could possibly go wrong this semester. I texted Catherine and she told me to hang in there which I know is what I have to do. Somehow I have to come up with motivation to unpack and convince my self to stay here as if it wasn't the only thing I don't want to do. Oh boy. Welcome to grad school? 

One to Eight

No those aren't the odds that (insert sports team here) is going to (insert action here), that is how long I had between last night's shift and this morning's. Now fact out travel time and getting ready time and it got about 4 hours of sleep. All I want to do now is go to bed but I have to eat something. And watch OUAT. I should probably be cleaning something as well.

If I Can't

Saturdays can be pretty unnerving in my life. Between all the extra curricular activities the family can be a part of and the multitude of people that I can encounter at work, I can end up pretty tired.  Add that in to an extended shift that consisted of doing things that I'm not confident in my ability to do (while still being very sick) equals a mini mental breakdown.

We get to build things every once in a while at work and most people don't think twice about those days. Then there's me. In theory, building things is the easiest requirement of my job. For some reason this is the exact opposite for me. I look at those instructions and I just get lost and overwhelmed. AND THEN I GET SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO DO SOMETHING! I don't really understand the logic behind it but it has always been there.

On the up side, I got through half of a season of "Once Upon a Time" and I am completely smitten with Captain Hook and Emma's ship (see what I did there?)!

The Black Plague

Okay so it is possible that I pushed myself a little to hard today by going to work. I feel absolutely awful. One of the managers asked me today if there was anything she could do and I told her: "unless you can get rid of my sinuses all together I don't think so unfortunately."

It has always been this way for me. If I get sick at all it is like I have the Black Plague. I feel like I'm dying and I get quarantined. Ugh. 

Good to Bad

This pattern of good day bad day good day bad day kinda needs to stop. Today consisted of sleep and cold medicine because I am sick. I dislike being sick. We've discussed this.

However, the day was not completely awful as Catherine brought me soup and snacks.

^insert title here^

I couldn't think of anything to call this post so, if you think of something that is three words, let me know.

I've come down with some sort of head cold which is just fantastic. I've got a lot going on in these next couple days so this is not a good event to be happening right now. Ughhhhh.

Today I went to my internship for 7 hours and witness some really interesting things. For one, some of my favorite students have started misbehaving and doing things completely opposite of their   previous characters. For another, working more with te high school students is really insightful and dangerous. One of the female students randomly slapped a male counterpart or no real reason. Kids.

Working At It

Considering I didn't finish crafting until 1am and I didn't get home and fall asleep until 2am, I already knew that waking up this morning was going to be exceptionally difficult. My alarms started gng off at 645am and I didn't even hear them. The first alarm that I heard was the one that starts at 750 and I finally acknowledged it at 758. My ability to sleep is mind blowing sometimes. 

I decided that I could skip my first class because A) we were watching a movie, B) I was exhausted, and C) my throat was killing me. So I went back to sleep expecting to wakeup feeling better for work. This was not the case. I woke up 20 minutes before work and I felt awful. My theory was still hurting, I couldn't breathe through my nose again p, and my whole body was aching. Needless to say I called out of work and spent the whole day resting, taking medicine, and fundraising for Dance Marathon. 

What I'm working at is having less of these days. I really don't like missing things but I have felt awful these past few weeks more times than not. I want to feel normal. Normal would be nice. I am also working at raising the last 150 that I need for my DM goal and helping one of my sisters raise her 150 in order to dance!!

Being Blown Away

You'll appreciate this title in a minute.

Even though I felt really gross I went to work as it was my last working during spring break. I was dreading going in and  was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it all day. However, all was well and I was able to make the whole day and do a pretty good job! 

Fun things happened today!! I met Carrie Underwood's cousin! I thought he was an awesome individual already because he was so knowledgable and so enthusiastic about Disney but then he revealed he was her cousin!! At first I didn't believe him but then he told me family facts and how American Idol changed family reunions. It is possible that he isn't really her cousin but I have no reason not to believe him. So yea.

AND THEN I GOT TO HANG OUT WOTH CATHERINE!!! AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I feel how she looks. If you don't know who she is, her name is Augra (og-rah) and she is from a lovely little movie called The Dark Crystal

The last time I felt this sick I was admitted to the hospital. That will be four years ago in April. Everything in my body hurts, I keep fluctuating between feeling like I'm in the Sahara before feeling like I've teleported to Antarctica, I generally feel gross/under the weather, and I have some sort of ear/nose/throat thing happening. Apparently Spring Break isn't in my favor. 

I know that my temperature spiked sometime last night around 2 because I never actually feel asleep. Instead I started ether lucid dreaming about or hallucinating being an Imagineer at Disney and being responsible for designing a new Frozen ride.This was encompassed with tossing, turning, randomly sitting up, moving my legs like a cricket, and talking to people I knew weren't in my room. No matter what I did, I was forced to redo the design ad each way I turned was a different design which meant a different part of my body started to hurt.

The last time this happened was Spring Break 2007. I had strep and I had just finished the 6th Harry Potter book. I hallucinated that Lord Voldemort and I (AKA Harry) were falling while holding hands and singing kumbyyah (HOW DO YOU SPELL THIS??). Then (pillow) Hermione tried to suffocate me with a pillow.

Anyway, when I finally pulled my self out of last night's dream state, I jumped in the shower to either cool my self off or to warm myself up (I can't remember honestly). I was able to sleep for two-ish hours after that until I had to get up and go to work. 

I think my description above is pretty accurate don't you think? 

A Wild Card

HUNTER HAYES THREW ALL OF US ONE TODAY!!! 

Last night on his VLOG there was a message that said a special announcement would be coming today. I figured it was a new single but I'm never that lucky so I brushed it off. When I woke up this morning I discovered that there was a new single, the album is available for pre-order, AND you didn't have to pre-order the album to get the single!! The single is called "Wild Card" and it's very early Keith Urban. It's up tempo and very fun to listen to although a bit juvenile. Regardless, I bought it and you should too!!!

iTunes-> Hunter Hayes-> Storyline-> "Wild Card" and "Invisible" (IT'S FOR CHARITY!!) 

ALSO!! I HAVEN'T HAD SODA IN 70 DAYS!!! SHDKFUJFKCUSJJ. And on the 70th day of blogging I got really really sick. I went to work and dis my job but I feel awful :( If you would like to make me feel better, please donate here: 

Http://noles4kids.kintera.org/katibowen

Already Over It

Just to throw this out there, I have been quoting this since way before Miley started to back in 2012. Today was supposed to be a good day full of work and cleaning and being ready for physical therapy tomorrow. After such an exciting and easy going weekend I did NOT expect to wake up today being so sick. But I did. I woke up feeling awful. Typical head cold symptoms plus some chills and hurting everywhere. Because of this the only thing that I made it to today was my job and I thought about not even going to that. 

I really don't like missing class and tests and chapter and my day to day life. Unfortunately for me, whenever I get sick it isn't just "oh I'm sick better take some medicine and move on with my day." Absolutely not. My version of sick has always been worse than my friends'. For example, even if I wanted to go to class the morning I wouldn't have been able to due to the pressure in my head being so severe it took two doses of day quill for it to stop for an hour. One hour.  My tolerance for medication is much higher than your average person's. it takes 3 ibuprofen just to make my head stop hurting on a normal day. That's 1500mg. 

But sickness is temporary. It is also a motivator to actually enjoy my days as a healthy human and not waste them so often.