Other than work and the my dramatic guilty pleasure of "Teen Wolf," I would have literally nothing to post about if I wasn't doing these challenges. Ab challenge from yesterday was difficult. That rest day threw me for a loop in the plank and in the sit up department. I am hoping that today's goes a little smoother.
The Storyline challenge for today is to write about my best friend. What if I don't have one?
Obviously I have friends. Who else is going to read the ridiculousness that is this blog (self-deprecating sense of humor friends will laugh at this) but what if I don't have a "best friend?"
You know how people say they have their best friends and then they have their BEST friend? Well, I've never quite understood that. If a person is more/less than your best friend, label them as such. Best friend makes people feel like they are the best i.e. there is no one better than them so technically speaking you can't have more than one with the label best friends. Best of friends maybe. I like to think of your best friend as the first person you, without a doubt/second thought/ moment of hesitation, make your maid of honor/best man and/or the godmother or father to your child. That, in my opinion, is what your "best friend" should be. Up until a year and a half ago, I would have answered the question "Who is your best friend?" with "Amanda. Hands down Amanda," but things and people change. We're still friends but we're not quite where we used to be, at least not on my end. And that is both of our fault's as much as she would venomously disagree with me. I promised a post about her a while back so this one is the day I guess.
Amanda and I were what best friends should be considered. We were sisters. There wasn't anyone else, FOR 16 YEARS, that could hold a candle to this girl on my friend scale. She was the most trusted, most fun, most EVERYTHING friend. We were Fred and George, Batman and Robin, CORY AND SHAWN, Mario and Luigi, Mary-Kate and Ashley! We were planning each others weddings and dreaming about college and our careers. We were the constant to each others' inconsistency. We were each others routine when our families didn't offer one. Then things went a little wonky. I'm not going to sit here and type out the whole story; it's four hours if I tell the last 6 years of it out loud. I'm also not going to sit here and say " she did this and this and this and then I hated her and then this happened" because, even though for quite a long time I viewed it that way, that isn't what happened. I can tell you that some of our problems started with me being possessive. I hadn't quite figured out yet that she was above the level of your typical best friend and I heard her call someone else her best friend and that mildly freaked me out. So, I started acting really weird until I could resolve all of it myself. She contributed to our 'falling out' with her own issues that I am not at liberty to disclose because they are not my issues. My reactions to the consequences of her issues wasn't what it would be now and so it put us on edge. I did what I though would help and then things got really shakey. And then the real trouble started. Three years worth of people and passive aggressive-ness and websites and nonsense and lack of medication and more trying to help and bullshit and drama and moving out and not talking and more bullshit later things have changed. We're still Fred and George but its not like it was. I don't know if she can feel it but I can. We've been friends since kindergarten so I knew (even when I TYPED THE WORDS "I don't think we're friends anymore") that we could never not be friends. No matter how furious I was with her for (at the time) what I considered was throwing her life away I knew that I would get over it eventually. And I just knew that she had to as well. Will she end up being my maid of honor at the wedding that I will most likely never have? Probably. But if I'm being honest, I will probably choose her because I feel obligated because I've known her the longest and because I wanted it to be her for so many years. Will I be hers at the wedding she will also most likely never have? I have no idea. We're working on things. It's like fighting with a family member, unless you're a stubborn ass of a person you can't keep fighting with them forever. You love them too much. You've been through too much and you sure as hell can't imagine life without them.
Now that her story has been told, I do have to add that when you use the everyday version of "Best Friend" I have so many of them. Alexis, Brandi, Brett, Ilana, Luis, my amazing Big and Littles, the brightness of life that is Catherine, Greg, Kayla, and Brianna have all been called my best friend at some point or another and that is because they represent the best of my friends. I think the reason I have such a hard time with that label is because I'm a fan of loyalty and I feel like I'm cheating on every single one of them as a write the this post. I won't lie and say there isn't a hierarchy among those friends (which is really based of my weird loyalty to when I met these friends) but even with that being said, these people have changed me as a person. They have impacted the way I think, feel, and act. I adore each and everyone of them because they are my best friends and I couldn't have made it as far in this world as I have without their endless support and love. I trust and respect and love every single one of them and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose even a single one.
Even as I finish this massive wall of text that I have left for the poor readers, I still feel like there is more to say, like I haven't gotten my point across about the best friend thing but I am going to chalk that up to me not wanting to step on anyone's toes. If any of the people who are mentioned in this post read it and feel offended that it isn't solely about them then I guess they didn't know as well as I thought.
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