One to Eight

No those aren't the odds that (insert sports team here) is going to (insert action here), that is how long I had between last night's shift and this morning's. Now fact out travel time and getting ready time and it got about 4 hours of sleep. All I want to do now is go to bed but I have to eat something. And watch OUAT. I should probably be cleaning something as well.

If I Can't

Saturdays can be pretty unnerving in my life. Between all the extra curricular activities the family can be a part of and the multitude of people that I can encounter at work, I can end up pretty tired.  Add that in to an extended shift that consisted of doing things that I'm not confident in my ability to do (while still being very sick) equals a mini mental breakdown.

We get to build things every once in a while at work and most people don't think twice about those days. Then there's me. In theory, building things is the easiest requirement of my job. For some reason this is the exact opposite for me. I look at those instructions and I just get lost and overwhelmed. AND THEN I GET SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO DO SOMETHING! I don't really understand the logic behind it but it has always been there.

On the up side, I got through half of a season of "Once Upon a Time" and I am completely smitten with Captain Hook and Emma's ship (see what I did there?)!

January 12, 2015

The best way to spend a Friday is to do nothing. All I've done is sleep, drink water, watch movies, music, and stalk  my sorority sisters as today was induction. Actually I lied, I also awkwardly pseudo-flirted with a friend of mine and I planned trips Busch Gardens and maybe Halloween Horror Nights.

Today I also learned that if I get in to either of my graduate program they will start January 12th, 2015. I've never been more torn about a decision in my life. If I go (which I want to obviously) what happens to my family at work? I know what is best is to pursue my therapy dreams as if no other dreams existed however, I don't want to leave my family here. Loss has never been a big deal in my life. When I graduated and I lost my sisters, it was hard to get used to it.  To go from seeing people all the time to not even speaking to more than half of them has proven to be a challenge even this far into the year. When I go back to school, is that what is going to happen with the people I love from work? I just don't know how to prevent that. And the only way I can see how is to not go but that is not option.

I will figure it all out. I know that I'm going to grad school and preferably in the spring. However, if the fates decide otherwise then I get more time with friends.

The Black Plague

Okay so it is possible that I pushed myself a little to hard today by going to work. I feel absolutely awful. One of the managers asked me today if there was anything she could do and I told her: "unless you can get rid of my sinuses all together I don't think so unfortunately."

It has always been this way for me. If I get sick at all it is like I have the Black Plague. I feel like I'm dying and I get quarantined. Ugh. 

Good to Bad

This pattern of good day bad day good day bad day kinda needs to stop. Today consisted of sleep and cold medicine because I am sick. I dislike being sick. We've discussed this.

However, the day was not completely awful as Catherine brought me soup and snacks.

I DROVE TODAY

AND I DIDN'T DIE!

It wasn't scary and I didn't hit anything. I did however realize that the entire right side doesn't exist while I am driving. At all. My sister had to keep telling me to go to the left so that I did not run into any trash cans due to not being able to see them. After about an hour of driving around the neighborhood I decided to stop and then get ready for work.

I was able to help train some of the new hires at work which as fun but it took so long.

WHY MONDAY? WHY!

I know that I have talked about my dislike for Monday's a bunch but the first half of this particular Monday REALLY solidified that hatred.

I closed the night before so of course I get to open the next day. No big deal, whatever. I get to see an old friend! I was excited for this. The morning ended up in shambles with me being behind on everything because a new project had to be done. I don't like being behind or feeling like I am running out of time. That paired with the rest of the stress from the last week resulted in a crying Kaitlin once again. Once I was able to catch up on my tasks and not feel like I had to be the person to do everything the day went a lot better.

AND THEN I GOT TO SEE CATHERINE! We went shopping and we got ice cream and then she made dinner!!! I have never heard of tomato sauce in beans and rice but it works so I am glad someone thought of it. After dinner, we were able to FINALLY watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier which was good. The whole story arc for Captain America doesn't really appeal to me but it was a good superhero movie. What it means for the Avengers and for the rest of the Marvel universe hasn't quite been revealed yet but I am hoping it will eventually lead to the Tony Stark vs Captain America civil war plot!