I Will Always Love You

14th Birthday Party

My mother had me when she was 42 years old. She decided, after seventeen years, that one daughter just wasn't enough. She needed a smaller human to interact with on a day to day basis. She wanted someone to dress up again, to share stories with, and to play with. That's where I come in to the picture.  I will not lie to you dear reader and tell you that my childhood was super awesome because it wasn't. I was born into a poor, single parent house hold. I was born to a woman who had an obsessive personality and that personality both helped and hurt us. I was born to someone who got sick when I was eight years old and passed away when I was sixteen. I tell you this not because I see my self as a victim or view my story as the worst ever told. I tell you this because it is what happened. My mother was a loving, angry, silly, manipulative, fun, scary, and large woman who I didn't get a whole lot of time with. Eight years is just enough to consciously know what a family dynamic is and to realize yours is different. It is just enough time to be terrified of someone and still love them because they are important and they teach you things and they feed you and give you hugs. It's difficult to remember things before eight years old and to think of my mother as independent, with out a speech impediment, and taking care of me when I spent half of my life with her taking care of her. That being said, it's mother's day. She did what she could and it got me here somehow.

My actual mother was the only parent I had growing up. But I had so many strong women surrounding me it is ridiculous. From friends parents to family, I never lacked female role models. My grandmother had five girls and each of them had two kids. Seven of those ten children are girls. Girl power is kind of a thing in my family and it starts with this beautiful woman right here.

Kindergarten Grandparents Breakfast

She managed to raise five kids, four of which were under seven all at one time, and still maintain a strong relationship with her church. She has found a way over the last 60-something years to teach not only her five children but her ten grandchildren and her twelve great-grandchildren what it means to be kind, caring, and unconditionally welcoming to other people. Happy Mother's Gran

 

I didn't just make rent payments and pay for groceries, clothes, electricity etc on my own at eight years old. My mother lived off of welfare and we moved to government housing. After two years of that, my sister decided that such things were not acceptable and gave up her dreams to come back and help. She swooped in and saved the day and it took me a long time to see it that way.

Sister's couch

At the time, I was angry. She had moved away, like most young adults do, when I was six years old. The sister that I was so obsessed with as a little girl became someone I was mad at. I didn't want her to leave, I didn't want her to disrupt our little family, and I didn't understand why she was doing just that. Fast forward three years and I was still mad. To my ten year old mind, she wasn't helping. She was another disruption. I had everything under control (no, no I didn't) and she was going to mess it up.

That isn't true. She saved us. She saved me. My sister worked so hard to make sure I had some sense of normalcy, family, and security. She took over taking care of my mother and pushed me to focus on school and friends. She encouraged me to find things I was passionate about and she tried to be supportive in all of those things. We fought. We fought a lot. She struggled to balance being a guardian to a preteen, a good wife, and a care taker to a 55 year old woman who was slowly going out of her mind. She dealt with so much stress and I was not a great sister (I was a brat) in the beginning. Somehow, she did it. She created a home for everyone and some how didn't murder us. Props to you sister.

She's a mother of her own children now. Two wonderful little boys who stole our hearts the moment they came into this world. She had practice with my mother and I so those two should be set. Happy Mother's Day Kristen! I love you and I don't say that (or thank you) enough. I hope today was awesome! (I TIRED TO CALL YOU AND YOU DIDN'T ANSWER!!!)


Now, this post is long enough but it needs to be just a little bit longer. I could go on about Susan who taught me how to ride horses, love the outdoors, and find fun in simple tasks. I could talk about Lisa who let me practically live at her house with her four other children, who dragged me to church, and let her real daughter and I be as crazy as we wanted to be. I could talk about Beth (Lisa's mom) who encouraged self expression, caring about others, and taking care of yourself. I could go on about Patty (whose name I have suddenly forgotten how to spell) who opened her doors to me whenever she could, supported my mom and I when we needed it, and who took her daughter and I on all kinds of fun adventures.

I can't be more grateful for these people than I am today. Mother's Day is hard for me and I struggled to write this but it is the truth that all of the people, and many more, that I have talked about here are more important to me than they realize. I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be this way, and I probably wouldn't be this successful in life.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers that have touched our lives. I hope today was wonderful and that you were given all of the things you deserve. I wish the best to all of you for the rest of time and may your children forever be grateful for you.

I Will Survive, I Will Survive

Early days are hard but!! I finished at 11 and I got to learn what I will be helping with during the week at my new babysitting job. The little girl is so sweet and their puppy is very fun to play with! I get to be there again on Thursday so we shall see how everything goes!1

Jumping Jack Flash

May is here!!!April is over!! Disney land is closer than ever!!

Birds Flying High, You Know How I Feel

DRIVING BACK FROM TALLY WAS WORSE THAN DRIVING THERE!

On the positive side, I have Cracker Barrel Biscuits and I was hired (yesterday actually) as the nanny for the little girl and I start on Monday! I am so excited to be working with children again as well as getting to help the family!

This is a Hymn to the Garnet and the Gold

SHE DID IT!! BRANDI GRADUATED!!!MA DFGKSDJFGKLSDFHG

Two years ago I was in her shoes and I felt the exact same way she did today: content. Her and I are good friends because we're similar. We acknowledge that the Bachelors degree was an achievement but we also know that we have more to go. Graduating from Florida State was a good day for both of us and I am so excited that she finished! She worked so hard and she's come so far!

Driving to Tallahassee was not fun and I don't want to do it again any time soon but I did miss being in Tally. It was weird to see the city again. It looked so similar and yet so different! Until next time Tally!

You're Not the Only One

The clinic has been cleaned, Dr. Hundley has learned what a Zebra sounds like, and I have experienced (interesting) Thai food. Once my practicum finished at the clinic, we headed to this little shop called Purple Orchid Thai. It was very hot in this restaurant and that was making me grumpy. The consensus once most of us got our food was that it was eh. I was the last to receive sustenance and it wasn't very good. Let us just say that we probably wouldn't recommend it. 

We'll Be Counting Stars

I got to meet the little girl I might help take care of through out the week! I made sure to include Disney into my outfit and she seemed to like it but stayed very shy. I hope it went as well as I think it did!

Tonight I have to go to work and then final practicum time tomorrow! We get to finish filling out paperwork, get our final evaluations, and then clean. Fun!

Topsy Turvy Day

I have been awake since 6:30. I just started my paper. It is due in approximately 10 hours. I have three pages. I want to die but this completely my fault and I shouldn't have procrastinated.


UPDATE: I FINISHED IT WITH A FEW HOURS TO SPARE!! And the lady who wanted me to interview with her yesterday called me again to schedule an in person interview for tomorrow! Things are looking up!!

Shake 'Em Off

I'm finally starting to get used to waking up at 5-5:30 am to be at work by 7:00am and I might be changing my schedule. I will say though, only being scheduled until 11 am is nice. And it worked in my favor today as I needed to finish my project for multiculturalism. I haven't succeeded quite yet but it is colorful and has the majority of my large family on it.  I get to present my "culture" to my class and this is difficult for me to conceptualize. I don't identify with a culture. I don't know what that means. But okay sir. I'll do your project and try my best.

I also have an interview today for a nanny'ing position. I'm constantly taking care of people and I'm going into a helping profession so I think I'm

I Think It Goes

So today I had a breakdown about this last week of class. I also thought about what I want my project tomorrow to look like. AND I finally finished watching Wall Street for the paper that I due Tuesday that I have not started yet.

So yeah. fun.

Sweeeeeeeeetttttttt Emoooooootiooooooooooonnnnnn

I fully admit that I should not have gone to Disney. I should have stayed home, told Peter to go back to his house, told Ilysa I couldn't help her family go to Disney, and been miserable working on all my homework.

This did not happen. Instead I spent my day (and so much money) at Hollywood Studios. We Rocked on a Roller coaster and fell down an elevator shaft. We meet some Jawas and a Kylo. It was a good time. And now I get to work.

Big Girls Don't Cry (I Wonder Why)

Remember how I said I would be scrambling? It has already begun. After work today, I went to the clinic to A) apply for babysitting/nannying positions because those jobs can end up paying some serious money, B) finish client paperwork so that next Thursday is an easy transition out of the clinic, and C) to have a meeting with the department about my class' experience this semester. I was lucky to have the experience that I and I will stick to that story. None the less, there were things that could have been better so attending the meeting with my classmates needed to happen.

After all of this was finished, I went home to start watching Wall Street for a paper that is due on Tuesday. Things didn't go as planned. My arm started to hurt, I had to have some serious conversations with some people. I got through half of the movie and then fell asleep.

It's the Thrill of the Fight, Rising Up to the Challenge of Our Rival

WE DID IT!!!! We finished seeing clients and we are all done with Practicum 1!!

I was lucky to have the practicum experience that I had compared to some of the other people in my class alone. I had mostly consistent clients, I was challenged enough to see what I need to work on, and I didn't let practicum get the better of me. I did however let other classes get the better of me and now I'm going to be scrambling. But it will all be worth it. I get to see Brandi next week for her graduation. And then Hunter Hayes. AND THEN DISNEYLAND!

Whats a Greecian Earn

I didn't get as much done as I thought I would and now I have to go to work until midnight. I did however go with Ilysa to get our group hours finalized. We were able to meet with our site supervisor and solidify a spot next semester for running groups. Go us.  Last day of prac tomorrow!

I Wish It Was Sunday

Work, class, stress. I hate my life.

Sun Kissed Skin, So Hot We'll Melt Your Popsicle

I voluntarily put on a bathing suit and decided to go outside to get some sun. I sun-denly (hahahhaha) really want to be tan. So yeah. I spent thirty minutes outside just laying out. Am I tan yet? No. No I'm not. But I'm not burnt either so that is a plus!

All pluses were negated when Dr. Butler gave back our portfolios and held us an extra 20 minutes in order to complete our PSA presentations. But it is over. One more assignment and then that class is done forever. Praise the lord.

She's So Lucky

I had the day off! Again! 

So Peter and I grabbed some lunch (it was awful) and then I had a mini mental breakdown after we watched the Entourage movie because my computer refused to work for the project I had to complete today. 

I finished them (and my notes and my file swap) but it all just sucked. Lots of tears and freaking out and getting mad but I finished making the videos. 

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I didn't get any pictures of him hitting or catching but I got to see Anderson play a baseball game today! I ended up not having to go to work so I was able to hang out. After the game, he and I ayes some basket ball and then I helped my sister figure out the Starbucks app. Later, I met up with Peter to watch theForce  Awakens. We didn't like it this time around either. I guess it just isn't the movie for us.

On the Road Again

And we're in Tampa! And we're babysitting!

And within the first 15 minutes of being in Tampa, Anderson threw up. It was a strange day. But we watched some movies and had some gold fish and it turned out okay. I got to spend some quality time with him and Holden. and then I got to help my sister look hella boss for an 80's party.

Walk this Way, Talk this Way

Group went well. Practicum was kind of a mess. I haven't done my exercise stuff yet and I have to go to Tampa to babysit tomorrow.

The Lost Days

To be honest, I didn't realize it had been  eight days. I some how missed eight days of posts and I don't even know how I did that. I won't have an even number of posts, as much as I wanted do. I wont have 365 days to look back on. It just won't be there because I didn't keep up. I thought this was important enough for me to stay dedicated but certain days I just don't believe that. I struggle. I struggle a lot to keep myself on track with more than just this. I struggle to meet certain deadlines, I struggle to be nice to people all the time, I struggle to keep budgeting, to not go out to eat, to not stay up late, to lose weight, to clean my room.

I guess I thought that if I could maintain this, then I *wasn't* bad at keeping up with something. The truth is I am. I'm bad at staying on top of things as much as I say that I am. I get distracted by school and Sims and TV and sleep and various other things that suddenly become the most important when I have other things to be doing. I then feel awesome about myself for actually completing something but I never keep it up.

I have no idea what I did over the last eight days. I can't remember everything. I know that Peter and I got approved for the apartment which was awesome. But now we have to worry about money. I know that I talked to Catherine and her friends about planning a Disney trip. But then I forgot to book it and get back to everyone in a timely manner (I took care of it all today but I could have taken care of it when I said I was going to). I know that I finished a bunch of assignments. But that was so I could put off applying for internships and focusing on my big projects coming up. This idea of productive procrastination (procrastination in general to be honest) has to stop but I don't know how to motivate myself to do that. I always thought I was so good at time management but I've lost that skill somehow. Hell, I purchased two planners this semester, one of which has a whole sections for goals and to do lists and awesomeness but I don't even know where that one is right now!. I'm such a mess.

I want to be a fully functioning adult. I want to be able to look at my life and actually feel like things are going more than okay. I want things to go well. I want things to be functional and productive and happy and fulfilling. I just feel like I need a babysitter to help me achieve all of those things. I know, I know- positive outcomes only. I know that I need to be looking at this from a strengths based perspective. I know that I should be focusing on all of the things that I can do/am already doing right.

I'm just not motivated.

In Bloom

Work, apartments, lack of motivation meets dedication. Then there's arguements. Then there's pettyness. 

And to think yesterday I sat there and said "I'm going to choose to be happy"

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work

I was working all day on a project so I didn't post. I went to the mall and observed some people. I interviewed a few others. 

I also had the worst Chinese food ever. 

I have no excuse for missing this day. I am just a sad failure

I'm so tired and it's been a bad day and I don't get to see Kayla while she's here. I have to deal with my own procrastination tomorrow and do my multicultural portfolio. Mejdnzjcnxjsjdnv

At the Feast of Fools

Aprils fools day! I forgot to post again! And then Peter and I drove past a haunted cemetery for like 10 minutes. 

I Can See Clearly Now

Today was a prac day and it was tiring. Session went well and group went well despite last week being the epitome of a terrible session. 

Ilysa and I then went to a Dirty ASL event where members of UCF's deaf community taught party and naughty words to us common folk. I have a new favorite saying to say the least. 

Oops, I Did It Again

I did it again!!! Dang it! 

Yesterday I went to Disney with Matt and Ilysa to look at the Easter eggs before the disappear. I also got to wear my new Beauty and the Beast dress :)  The eggs are created out of chocolate and edible art supplies and it just isn't fair. 

It's All About the Money, Money

Work went well today if not a little slow. I got to work with some of my favorite cast members which made me happy. Making money is a priority right now so I need to be way more mindful about where I'm spending the money I have and about what hours I can get. 

This means I should not have spent 15 dollars in dessert items today. But, it happened. 

I ate pretty wel today though! So that's good. 

I'm a mess. 

Hold It Down

I accidentally skipped my post yesterday which is what this post is now. 

I don't really remember what happened- oh wait. I watched San Andreas for the third time and then I did supervision. And then class and groceries. 

Oh, There Goes Gravity

Hoppy Easter!! 

Peter and I woke up late which made us late to brunch at my Aunt's House. We finally got to Tampa at 1:14 and stayed until four when we then turned around and came back to Orlando. We headed to the Hyatt Regency to meet his parents for dinner (it was delicious) and then to Disney's Boarwalk to waste time.

Back to reality tomorrow!  

Rain, Rain Go Away

I slept in and didn't prepare food for work  so I shoved PBandJ stuff in a bag and hoped for the best. My foot put threw a fit because it was accidentally stepped on by one of the managers yesterday. The rain made it impossible for me to go visit with Alexis for her birthday at Magic Kingdom. 

And then I made a terrible dinner decision. 

Such a great day.

It Doesn't Even Matter

Today has been bleh. Work, notes, and arguments. I found Harry Potter 4 for 3.49 though. Silver Lining.

Group and Mac and Cheese sauce from scratch 

When You Wish Upon A Star

Disney!!!!

Clap Along if You Feel Like a Room Without a Roof

The apartment people gave us a welcome letter!! This doesn't mean we're in the clear quite yet but it does mean that we have a really wonderful chance of being confirmed for a ground floor, one bedroom apartment about 10 minutes from campus. This is really happening!! 

Isn't it Ironic

You'd think I'd be able to stop taking naps on Mondays but that didn't happen and I fell asleep for three hours. On the flip side, Moes and group planning happened today. Woo

Sugar, How You Get so Fly

It's Suzy Sunday with Catherine!! She came up to visit for a few hours after going to visit her mom for her birthday! It so lovely to see her ^__^ I can wait until we can meet up again!  We were able to go to Fresh to Order and get a Cupcake from Sweet by Good Golly Miss Holly. And then she met Peter and got to see why I love him. 

Today was another day off for me and I am really starting to get spoiled with them. I decided to look awesome today and do my makeup using my new Urban Decay XX Vice Limited Palette with some assistance from the Vice 2 and Kat Von D's Trooper eyeliner. I'm in love. 

You Gotta Fight

I totally forgot to do a blog yesterday. I am a failure. 

Actually, that's not entirely true. We woke up around 11am, bummed around until 2, went to have lunner with Peter's parents, and then I had to go to work until midnight so yeah. 

 

Cake By The Ocean

Okay, it wasn't actually an ocean but there was cake!! I was able to celebrate Danielle's birthday with her and her friends! It was so nice to see her and to celebrate with her. I really need to try to find more time to spend with her. I was also able to play with my new Urban Decay pallete and dress all fancy which was fun. 

Prior to the party, I worked on my client notes and files. Sunday I will have to go back to the clinic and finish the rest but four hours today was rewarding!!

Tiredddd

Stay

For the third day in a row (fourth tomorrow) I have had trouble sleeping before having to get up earlier than I am used to. Work was slow. I was told that I wasn't eligible for my transfer. I the napped for two hours and proceeded to watch San Andress after that. I have to be up by 830 tomorrow and I'm still not in bed. Joy.

Candy Girl

Work and tests and stress. And then I convinced Matt and Ilysa to want to go to  Sugar Factory with me eventually. We are literally planning birthday parties that won't happen until November. I'm excited.

Peter is sleeping over tonight because we wanted to go get Chipotle for dinner. Woo.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

And sleep and not be stress out and not have to worry about studying things like all of the needless assignments for Multicultural class. AND GIRLS JUST WANT TO FEEL PREPARED FOR TESTS. Well everyone probably does but still. 

You'll See Boys

I should have been more productive today. I should have studied more. I should have prepared. I should have woken up earlier and gotten back to my house earlier today than I did. I should have done more to make today a useful day. 

But I didn't. I moped. I hurt Brett's feelings by bailing on plans I set up with him. I wasn't smart about sleep decisions and that made other people mad. 

Guess we'll see how tomorrow goes? 

I Am the Mindfreak

Work and puzzles and puzzles and work.

First day back at work and it was fun. And then I went over to Amanda and Brianna's house to finish the puzzles from last week. THEY ALL SUCK. We finished most of them.

Three Little Birds, Sat On My Window.

Being in Tampa makes me wish I had gotten here sooner. I wish I could have been here Thursday through Sunday. I loved spending the week with Peter and looking at apartments (and then fighting about apartments) but being home makes me wish I had spent more time here during this break.

Things are changing. My nephews seem bigger every time I come back. We applied for an apartment. I just finished applying for a transfer at work. I had to interview my old manager for an assignment. It all just feels surreal. I'm nostalgic for 2012 when I didn't have a car and I was new to my job and my nephews were little. I also miss not being interrogated by literally all the adults that I know every time I see them. I LOVE that they care enough to ask but lately, all the adults in my life ask a lot of questions that make me want to pass out. The future is scary. I'm pretty sure it is bright but right now there is a window between me and that brightness and I'm just not quite ready to open that window.

I Remember There Was Mist

No

Fair

Today

I was all excited to go and then Peter explained that the fair I'm used to (Florida

State Fair) is not anywhere close to

the fair I was going to get at the Central Florida Fair. We decided to visit Dave and Buster's instead where we found this awful game called Dark Escape 4D. It's a 3D horror game that has surround sound, vibrating seats, weird air effects, and a heart rate monitor that reacts in the game to tell you you've panicked. This game is built on jump scares and torture. Peter found it quite entertaining.

We Run the Night

We decided to put in the application for the apartment! I'm so nervous!!  We have to give her income verification by the end of next week and then she'll process it and see what are chances of gettin he unit are. 

I made tacos for dinner which were yummy. It's hard to do portion control though so next time I need to think about that more. Tomorrow is fair day!

We've Got It Going On

We nearly decided on the apartment today but they people acted a little sketchy and that turned us off for another day or two. I then met up with Matt for some Islands of Adventure fun before having publix pizza and a Sonic Reese's blast

Larger Than Life

We nearly made a decision on apartments today. And then j cooked burgers in the George Foreman with hand cut potato wedges and roasted broccoli. Then I created the apartment in question on the Sims to help me conceptualize it. I'm just scared it's going to be too small. I love the complex and the location. The Sims proved helpful and it showed us what we have will fit in the space but I'm still just scared that we'll feel trapped and on top of each other. Hrnsoejfngcisjenfj.

And I'm Pins and I'm Needles

Today kicks off "make my own dinner" week. I tried to emulate the Carrabba's herb grilled chicken entree. I was mildly successful. I adjusted the recipe below so that cilantro and lime were replaced by oregano and garlic. I burns the chicken a little bit but Peter liked it for the most part so it must have been somewhat good. Tomorrow is burgers and homemade fries and then we'll go from there :)  

Never Gonna Give You Up

Peter and I were Rick Rolled today in the car

Everybody Walk the Dinosaur

Goofy's Mystery Tour 

What a Girl Wants

I just spent the last three hours playing Sims. What has my life come to?

Anyway, the day was interesting to say the least. Dr. Jones wasn't able to attend class so my whole prac had to cancel our clients. Group was kind of bumpy.  I have hate 8 pieces of pizza today. 

I Like the Way You Work It

I overslept and wasn't able to do more laundry before work. I went to work, bought some Tsums, and helped out a coworker. I'm suddenly so tired and hot. I don't want to go to prac tomorrow 

Food: blueberry muffin, two slices of left over pizza, and then I went to Sonic and ordered a burger, tots, and a peanut butter milkshake because I hate myself.

Reckless Behavior

You think I would have learned my lesson yesterday when I was late for work but no, apparently not. I still didn't set enough alarms. Luckily though, I woke up with enough time to all my job for my callin and not be in trouble. Once I found out that I did not have to go to work today I struggled making a decision as to what to do. I thought about laundry, budgeting, schedule, cleaning. I went through the list of things I need to do and elected to play the sims,  watch Madagascar 3, and put one load of laundry in before I went to class. 

I wish I had a good reason for that. I wish I had a good reason for waiting until 1130 at night to eat my dinner.  But I don't. I am still struggling with this idea of not wanting to do anything and embracing that side of myself that says "we don't actually have to." These aren't good decisions and I know that at least. I need to make an effort to not be okay dissapointing myself and to put the things that I have on the "need to accomplish" list first rather than the things on "want to accomplish."

Food: I had left over casserole stuff, half of my left over cheesecake slice, and a blue berry muffin before going to class. In class, Heather brought us cupcakes as part of her presentation and now I am making pizza.

Change is Gonna Come

It is weird to think that the last time I did this, the 60th day of writing was March 1st. It is weird to think that there are still 306 days left of this year! This extra day in February is essential but I don't quite understand why everyone is so excited about it. I will admit to saying that I wanted to make the most out of the extra day we're given but then I missed a post and February as a month turned out to be mostly miserable. It over today. I don't have to live in February any more and that makes me happy. March is going to bring great things. Peter and I are going to pick an apartment, I am going to fix my job situation, I am going to get back into the swing of things with packing my lunch and cooking (already had a good example today!) and I am going to choose to me happy.

I am not going to feel tired and hopeless anymore. I am going to be my bright, bubbly, positive self again come hell or high water and March is where that changes.



Food: Today I made a recipe off of the back of my Campbell's brocolli an dcheese soup mix. you take grilled chicken, broccoli florets, one can of the soup, milk, cheese, with optional bread crumb coating and your pour all into one pie dish to make this beautiful creation. I also added some frozen mixed vegetables.

I also made broccoli cheese rice because it was in my pantry and I am addicted to carbs and starch.

Because I'm Happy

Day was a good day! I ended up not having to go to work, I was able to hang out with Peter and his parents, I did my case notes, and Catherine got her yoga certification and… 

SHE GOT ENGAGED!! 

She called and told me and I freaked out! I'm so happy for her and Alex, I can't contain myself! I wish them the best of happiness and all the love and I cannot wait to see what happens next in their adventure.

Congratulations guys!! 

My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark

And that was go to Fall Out Boy at Universal Studios and then giggle the rest

Of the night 

Holly Holy

Things that happened today:

1. Overslept and missed opportunity to go to the clinic and complete paper work

2. I finished building my wedding pavilion in the Sims

3. I made burgers for Peter and I

4. Watched "Here Comes the Boom"

We've Been Through Days Of Thunder

But today wasn't that bad. Session went well and I was impressed with my makeup abilities given very little time. I like my outfit, I didn't feel incredibly sad. Group went extremely well for the first time! I spent money on new makeup which I probably should not have done. I should have just been good. I need to go grocery shopping and sit down and make a budget... And do laundry... And go so many places. 

Bed.  

Lose Track of My Lifelines, Lose Track of Myself

This week has been a week of early wake up calls which results in not a ton of sleep for someone who has night classes. That being said, I could learn to appreciate that routine if I could figure out how to fall asleep earlier. Anyway, today's work day was very long (9am-6pm) and resulted in three hours of playing the Sims in order to decompress (I MADE A KILLER WEDDING PROPERTY I AM SO PROUD). 

I then got to talk with Peter, Kayla, and Harley who shared their support and checked on me. My co-workers Lindsey(I don't actually know how she spells it) and Lori also checked on me today just to make sure I was doing okay. The answer is I'm doing better with things/ at handling my life, but I'm not okay yet. Words cannot express what it means to me to have so many supportive humans. I am so incredibly grateful. 

It's a Beautiful Day

Today was not awful. I'm still tired but I wasn't as sad/angry/in pain as I have been. Today wasn't full of tears or guilt. I generally liked today. I am however, ready to fall over from exhaustion so that is all I have to say about today.

Scream, Till You Believe It

There are moments in everyone's life where they realize that something is not worth the effort the individual is putting in.  I had that moment today while sweeping after evaluating the last three days and the feelings of depression that the subject brings. I should feel safe, supported, and like I'm worth effort but instead I feel persecuted, useless, and worthless. I do not accept that! Not at all. That is not something I'm going to stand for. I don't want to let go of certain goals and I don't want to have to say goodbye to certain things but I also realize that I can't continue them. I have to either fix it, change it, or leave it (really all I want to do is cry about it but that just isn't the smart option). Looks like I've got work to do. 

Off on an Adventure

We went to Islands of Adventure and went on water rides because we're insane.

I'm Never Gonna Dance Again

Today was hard and everything hurts. Saw Deadpool. I just want to go to bed. 

I'm Finding My Way Back Home

I did not have to work today which was nice. After I called in and they told me that I could have the day off, I promptly fell asleep for four more hours. This wasn't exactly the best choice but I think sleeping while you're sick is important.

Once I woke up, I was going  to go work on my client files but working on the wiki spaces and looking at apartments took precedence. We were able to visit three complexes and then find soup at Panera. I have a spreadsheet of  21 apartments (some we have already visited and some we need to still visit) that all meet a certain criteria. That list started at 48 and it is dwindling down after every visit. Peter asked me today if I was getting discouraged and the answer is yes. I am having a ridiculously hard time staying motivated to find a place that is nice, isn't going to kill us, isn't out of our price range, and doesn't make me hate the drive to work even more than I already do.  /facepalm

I'm, Gonna Swing, From the Chandelier

Even though I physically felt better today, I generally did not feel good. I saw my clients and failed at conducting group but I wasn't quite back to normal. I'm not sure where to go with this feeling. I know I don't want to do anything other than watch TV but I have things I know I need to accomplish. I also do not want to go back to work. This is not good either.  I wish I could pinpoint where this unhappiness or uncheerfulness stems from. It is imperative that I get back to normal. 

The Gray Where We Live

Normally my title ends with "between wrong and right" because that is how Mr. Hunter Hayes wrote the song but that part doesn't make sense if I'm using the lyric to describe my sick day. I took off of work because I felt awful and my body as demanding rest. I went to the doctor (physican's assistant) and she told me to take Mucinex and Sudafed. She was right. I felt better after taking that and finding some Panera but I didn't feel great and that is where the gray comes in. 

I watched Divegent instead of working on treatment plans and played iPad games. I am now seeing double and my whole life lacks visual brightness as well physical brightness. Gray is a good descriptive word to describe how I feel and how my life has looked today. 

Now to survive practicum tomorrow, update my groups wiki at some point, and hope to not have to work on Friday. 

So This is Love

And Cinderella's birthday apparently (maybe?)! But the point of using those lyrics is because I have the best boyfriend ever. I'm sick and germy and just god awful looking and feeling and he sat there and found medicine to make me feel better. HE MADE A TREATMENT PLAN AND BROUGHT THE MEDICINE AND THE PLAN TO MY HOUSE BECAUSE HE LOVES ME. 

I appreciate being taken care of and it made me feel important. He's just wonderful and I don't tell him enough. 

There's Two Kinds of Prayers on Your Knees

And I used one today except I was just sitting in the car. Today was agitating. From the moment it started at 5:55 this morning it was just bad. My technology didn't work, I was late for work, I was coached at work (for something that three people then went and did exactly like I did it and it was okay), and then I was told that the counseling style I am comfortable with I need to stop doing. Today was agitating, infuriating, saddening, and painful. I did not like today. And now I get to go to bed. 

hmmm, Whatcha Say

It has been a pretty average day minus it being the real Valentine's Day. And the fact that I feel worse. I've been sick for like two weeks now and I'm just not sure what to do. Doctors are expensive!

Anyway, I should have gone to bed three hours ago seeing as tomorrow is the day from hel- I mean Monday. 5 AM. UGHHH. But, instead I played Sims (there is a really good quest right now guys) and made a spread sheet of apartments. We are going to pick from this list dangnabit. We have some exclusion criteria but in theory we would like a one bedroom apartment that allows pets, has a washer and dryer, and is in a neighborhood that isn't going to get us shot. So what do I do? I fall in love with a two bedroom house/apartment thing that is in an area known as Crime Hills. Go me guys, go me.


I'm just going to go cough myself to sleep now. Peace.

Wait. Forgot. Thanks again to my wonderful boyfriend who gave me such a nice early Valentine's Day night last night! It was so sweet and I loved it so much!

And I, Will Always Love You

Peter and I celebrated Valentine's Day early. This is the first Valentine's Day I have ever celebrate with a significant other so it was kind of a big deal. WE GOT TO GO TO CARRABBAS! He got me a a rose 🌹 and that made me happy ^_^ pictures to come.

Sometimes I Cannot Feel My Face

And sometimes I can because of nasal congestion and general nose pain. Aside from that, Peter and I had an entertaining date night. We looked at apartments, played video games (Inintroduced him to flappy bird), talked about some politics, and found food items (FREE CHIPOTLE!!) so that was nice. 

Now to pass out so that I can go to work and then be all pretty for early Valentine's Day activities.

Peace ya'll

It's My Life

And it's chaotic. Like this morning. When I scared myself awake because I didn't set an alarm because passed out. Where I discovered that my hot chocolate from last night spilled and I then spent the next hour and half covered in oxyclean. Only to spend another hour getting ready for practicum where everything was just out of sorts. And then group. 

Group went better than we expected. These kids will be difficult to reach for certain things but that will just mean more things to learn. Not to start planning for our next session. Or we could just sleep? 

I'm definitely ready for sleep. 

Well almost, I should take my killer eyeliner off and brush my teeth. Goodnight 

I Just Know It.

Waking up at five am is going to be the death of me I just know it. But I did it, again. Today I didn't do signage though. Instead I got to clean which was just absolutely wonderful *sigh*

Anyway, the day carried on and soon enough it was time to clock out. Peter and I decided to do some apartment hunting and we went and looked at three possible living spaces. Out of the three, only one was acceptable (AND it is the one I've been fawning over for the last month so props to me) which is nice I guess. I have a sticky note in progress of all the other places I am willing to look at and then I'll visit the website of each one to write more details and make a spread sheet. I SWEAR I am not a type A personality >.>

I finished the night with hot chocolate and donuts from Dunkin because I wanted them and I have no self control. Yum. Sleep.

You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog, Crying All the Time

I wasted my day today and I feel kind of bad about that. I promised my self yesterday that I as going to clean my car, clean my room, and do laundry all day today, I did one load of laundry and barely picked up one corner of my room. What did I do instead? I rediscovered my Sims that I haven't played in a month and looked at apartments. I have no idea why I couldn't find motivation to get me out of my bed and into gear for cleaning but it just didn't happen. Tomorrow is a long day but maybe I can squeeze in some organization time after supervision. I have to start making this a priority or it is going to bite me in the ass later on. But hoooowwwwwwwwwww. 

It's Electrifying

Today has been a long day especially since I did not nap. My supervision was canceled due to illness but I'll have it on Wednesday instead so it will be okay. Ilysa and I made a pretty stellar wellness worksheet for the kiddos in group on Thursday which is awesome. She typed it up and it is very nice. I really hope that the kids respond well to the idea of create a plan to help them better themselves and understanding balance. I already know I'm going to get attached to them rather quickly so it will be good for my development as a counselor to be able to learn not to be so invested in my child clients. 

It's the End of the World As We Know It

I missed yesterday! I literally came home from work and went to sleep and then I've been up since 530 this morning so I am just now finding time to post. It's funny because this is the month with the extra day and I totally messed it up. Dang it! 

Shut Up and Dance With Me

HE COVERED IT AGAIINNN!! I wish I could upload the video from the blogger app but it hates me. 

I stood in the rain for two and a half hours, battled some older ladies in a golf cart wheel chair thing, dealt with two girls who got angry at me in Spanish, and then found Danielle. Together we stood in the freezing cold rain for another hour and half and then Hunter came on and he was wonderful and it was so much fun and this is a really badly written sentence. I'm so tired.

I Will Survive

I know. I'm being dramatic. I am aware. BUT HUNTER HAYES IN LESS THAN 17 HOURSSSS

The conference today was grueling and cold. My cough hasn't gone away. Peter showed me Death Race which made me angry but it was generally entertaining. Senseless car murder just doesn't speak to me. 

Hey!! We Can Do It!

We started group today and we didn't die and we feel semi confident about how the next ten weeks are going to go!! YAYYYY!! Of course we refers to Ilysa and I and group means our group contact hours to pass practicum. My practicum sessions themselves were a little choppy but I think they went okay overall. Now I just have to make it through two days of conference and then HUNTER HHHAAAYYEEESSS AND DANIELLLEEEEE

I'm So Sick

Not really but this cough is going to drive me nuts for the rest of the weekend. 

I GOT TO SLEEP IN TODAY!! AND PETER TOOK ME TO OUTBACK FOR DATE NIGHT!! Now to go back to sleep because exhaustion. 

I Don't Want Good and I Don't Want Good Enough

Today has been another long day and I am so excited to go to bed in a few minutes. Any way, work was exciting but dragged on since I don't feel very well. I have another day of work tomorrow and then FOUR DAYS OF NO WORK AND HUNTER HAYES ON SATURDAY! 

Also! Looking for apartments is hard. Nothing seems to exist that has what we are looking for, is in an okay location, and isn't going to be far from everythiinnngggggg. 

I Feel Fiiinnneeee

Mondays are going to kill me. 5am wake up call to be at the store by 7 to do all these things. THEN I go to supervision for my clients then to class. I need to start packing a bigger lunch box.

I'm

So

Tired

If I Believe It, There's Nothing to It

It has been a month!! We made it a moonnntthhhh! I'm excited for February since it means one extra blog post for the year (one extra day of fun things!!). This next month will see group therapy experiences, a Valentine's Day with a significant other, my sisters birthday, and other interesting things. Yayyyyy!! 

Everybody, yeah. Rock Your Body, yeah

ONE IF THE FLOATS PLAYED THAT SONG DURING THE PARADE AND IT WAS SO FUNNNNNN. 

ANYWAYS, Lots of beads, pictures, and a sunburn later I must go to sleep. 

I'm so Excited, and I Just Can't Hide It

Gasparilla tomorrow!!! Tampa tradition!! Ahhhhh!!!! 

Ilysa and I met with our group site supervisor and we're actually pretty excited about what is to come. Also I finished all of my paper work from my sessions yesterday, AND  I did some laundry AND I got donuts! 

No Time to Say Hello, Goodbye! I'm Late! I'm Late! I'm Late!

I missed a daaayyyyyyy ughhhhh. I knew it would happen but I was hoping it would be after January. Oh well. 0 days without incident. 

Anyway, prac went well yesterday and my supervisor liked my outfit so that made me happy. Then it was time for Disney Quest with Ilana and Peter! It was a fun little time. Disney Quest isn't exactly an awesome thing anymore but it is entertaining. 

Tonight We are Victorious

I survived my 9 hour shift! Practicum tomorrow and all of my paper work is done! That is all.

Just Whistle While You Work

I'm drawing a thing and it was going okay until I got to Snow White's face/neck. This is just a practice run for bigger things and I am SUPER proud of the Evil Queen. 

You Can Set Yourself on Fire

And I did just that today in the motivation department! That long shift that I talked about yesterday started today at 7 in the morning which meant that I had to be awake and functioning enough to pack lunch by 5:30. FIVE THIRTY IN THE MORNING! There was FROST on my windshield. The whole thing was ridiculous. 

Anyway, I managed to wake myself up and get out the door on time (this is an amazing feat for me) so I'm proud of that. At work I got to work as a pair with another castmember (Adam, his name is Adam) so that we could sign the whole store and make sure everything was right. AND WE DID THAT TOO! LOOK AT US! 

I folllowed work up with a two hour nap and then sat through class. Class was not interesting and all I wanted to do was go home and nap. But as the fates would have it, I got home and immediately wasn't tired. Instead of sleeping, I made some food, did some laundry, and went over what I accomplished last week (Pictures one) versus what I need to accomlish this week (Picture 2). Lets just say  need to work on actually finishing the things I write down. 

High Ho

I have an an early work day tomorrow so in a nut shell:

Shift at work, bought some chocolate, Matt and I went to help Ilysa calm her nerves about her clients tomorrow, and now my tummy hurts. Cool 

Lose My Mind

An 8 hour shift at work dragged on to feel like ten but the day wasn't as awful as it could have been. I was surprised to see financial aid show up in my bank account today so that made the day better. Budgeting and grocery shopping made it a little less better (as did all of the doors being locked to the clinic) BUT burgers were on sale at Publix!! And so were my rice sides! 

*update! Peter has ruined the day by getting crumbs in my bed 

Take It Easy

Progress notes! Disney! Tired! 

When Your Fantasies Become Your Legacy

I HAD CLIENTS AND I DIDN'T DIE AND THE PEOPLE WATCHING SAID I DID GOOD!!! 

I walked into the building this morning totally confident and calm and then it was time to see client number 1 and suddenly nervous. Once I sat down, it melted away only to return the second I walked out of the room to let said client read some things. BUT I DID IT!! Now, how in the world do I do it again AND be useful!?!?!

You Better Work B****h

And I did! Well, kinda. I did some assignments, looked into the budget, and sent out emails. Ilysa and I pretty much have our group finalized which is awesome sauce. Super props to her for being the liaison of that whole thing. I did some laundry and picked up the supplies for prac tomorrow. First day of clients!!! 

And then Danielle and I went to the gym and it was painful but good. And now I'm actually at work! Look at that.

Heeeeeeyyyyyy Sexy Lady

Today starts the second week of class and I have already given up on the little game I was playing with my self  about looking nice and put together at school. Maybe I should have made it publicly known instead of keeping it to myself. You would think that I learned that about myself from doing this the first time but no. Maybe I'll integrate the blog posts and Instagram to hold myself accountable (where have I heard this before? Hmmmm...) it is just finding the time and motivation to actually put effort into what I'm wearing.  I REALLY admire beauty bloggers/vloggers who can dedicate all of this time and effort into putting themselves together just to tell other people about how they did it. My life is in shambles compared to the level of put-together-ness those people must possess.

I just want to find or acquire the ability to be that person. I know it will take self effort and determination... I just know how to start that... Ugh. But!! I do have a killer selfie from yesterday that I am proud of ^_^  

Peter might hate this one but I think we both look cool (minus the guy in the corner). I'm really proud of my blending abilities in my eyeshadow though. Anyway, things to work on going forward .

This is Exactly What Has to be Done

(Those are obscure lyrics from a Hollywood Undead song btw.) 

I don't have any big announcement that coincides with my title, those lyrics just happen to speak to me.

I'm very tired A., and B., I am overwhelmed. Today started with work followed by a trip to Universal (where I looked hella cute representing Slytherin house) and then apartment research. This doesn't seem like a terrible day right? I just realized so many things about  my financial status and future responsibilities throughout today that I just kind of want to be done with life. I would like to check out of adulthood now, where are my crayons? 

Song 2

Today has been hard. Unexpected surprises, driving back from Tampa, and a long shift at work are not my favorite things to have happen in one day. But they did. I arrived home from work around 9:55 and I have been planning Disney things ever since. I decided to give Peter's mom a day at Disney for her birthday so he and I have been working on getting all of those details ironed out.

Long days throw me off kilter. I just don't know how to do them anymore. I was the champion at staying awake (waking up, not so much) and I was pretty good at being constantly on the go but I just feel so drained. The next few weeks probably aren't going to help that at all. Cue the extra dose of worry and stress? 

Hit Me Baby One More Time

With playing cards that is! After my grandmothers party I played some games with my nephew and then I walked the dog. Catherine had a game night tonight and I was able to join her for some card games and that is about where we're at.

How Wonderful it is to Know You

My handwriting is terrible so I chose to type my grandmother's birthday present rather than hand write it as recommended. Like most grandmothers, mine has been here for my whole life. She was there when I was little as a babysitter, a helper, a friend, and a visitor. She's been there as a matriarch, a mentor, and a story teller. She's here now as a gift giver, a teacher, and someone who loves to give hugs and kisses ( and chocolate!!) to her many grandchildren. My grandmother is a special person to me and I am so excited to dedicate this post to her.

Today was her actual birthday but tomorrow she will be surrounded by nearly 40 individuals (family and church friends) who love her dearly. All she asked for to celebrate the monumental occasion is for us to recap our fondest memories with her. When my aunt relayed that message, I was a little stuck. I wasn't entirely sure what to recount as my fondest memory of my grandmother and I; they're all amazing! I can remember going to her house and (badly) playing the piano or singing and dancing or showing her my gymnastics skills. I remember her coming to every single grandparents day during elementary school and eating the gross breakfast my school would give her. I remember her teaching me how to blow kisses and give bear hugs. I remember going to her house with my mom and then getting to stay and watch Benji (and then beg her to let me borrow it for the rest of the week). I have so many fond memories of being with my grandmother. The first one that I thought of though was a day when my mother and I were grocery shopping and I found my grandmother in the store. My mother had sent me to grab something so I turned the corner to head down the freezer isle and there was Gran! I was so excited to see her and for some reason the concept of "Gran is in the grocery store while I am in the grocery store and we didn't drive here together" was just too much for my little brain to compute. I begged her and my mother to let me go home with her and after a little convincing, they said yes. I got to check out with my grandmother and help her put the groceries in the. I couldn't tell you what we did once we got back to her house but I can guarantee that it was awesome :)

Happy Birthday Gran, love you!

I am Machine, I Never Sleep

Well that's not true but since I took a nap yesterday as soon as I came home from work I ended up not going to bed until 4:30am. What time did I have to be up to get ready to for practicum? The answer we're looking for is 8:30 am. My makeup was on fleek but the lightening was not so no picture exists to prove that. 

So it's been a long day. No sleep followed by five hours of getting to know the practicum set up and then it was time for date night. We ended up at the outlet malls and just wandered around for four hours. We're so boring. 

Ain't Nothing Ring

If I am being honest, I have no inspiration. I went to work. I took a four hour nap. I have practicum tomorrow. Till tomorrow?

Right or Wrong, We'll Write Our Own Storyline

The second day of class has been completed, Ilysa and I heard back from another potential group site, my hair cooperated this morning, and Peter gave me a card for absolutely no reason other than he wanted to ^_^

I also won a free smal plate as part of Carabbas 1 million meals giveaway. Is this a sign that I should play the powerball? I'll think about it some more tomorrow while I'm at work. What is interesting about today is that there has been lots that's gone well. I know that sounds odd to find that interesting but it's true. Things don't usually go well all day and they have and I am grateful for that.  Now I just need to get back to the goals I wrote in my planner and survive practicum on Thursday. We got this

Now, I should probably explain why I chose today's song lyrics. I'm a firm believer in choice and you get what give. Today reminds me of that in some ways. For instance, I gave a homeless man a cookie and he was thankful; I'm thankful for today being a good day. The lyrics don't fit 110% but I feel like Mr. Hayes' words remind us that no matter what choice we make, it is making the choice that counts. I choose to have the rest of the week be a good one. 

Double, Double, Toil, and Trouble

So, Peter and I are going through the Harry Potter series and today we finished Prisoner of Azkaban. He really liked the first one and he seemed to enjoy this one as well. Today was also the first day of multicultural which was interesting. The assignments for that class will end up as blog posts so that's nice. OH! Ilysa and I heard back from a potential group site!

This is a wonderful advancement and I am very excited to pursue it even if it is with a population niether of us really want to work with. 

Flower Gleam and Glow

I cut my haiiiirrr. It's really short now and I'm not sure how to feel about the left side of it but all of its healing powers are gone now. I'm kidding. My hair will grow back and I'm sure it will be fine. It is better than when I went in before seeing as it is no longer a fluffy, shapeless mess.

The haircut was a necessity seeing as school starts tomorrow and professionalism is part of our grade. I also got to work on some of my counseling skills with some of my cohort today ^_^ A group of us got together to practice some of the interactions were are expected to do come next week and I think it was helpful. Si se puede! 

You Give and You Take, You Come and You Go

I thought that using those lyrics as my title would result in me figuring out how to talk about my job and school starting back up (will I survive?!) but inspiration did not strike. As Monday draws near, the realization that this is going to be a stressful semester starts to sink in. It is kind of like being surrounded by that dark void in Kingdom Hearts as Sora falls and the theme song plays? You just have no idea what's going on and you can't get out of it? Yeah, that. Obviously I'm not attempting something really hard like parenting or working 40 hours a week on top of school but for me, my plate is still full. Juggling day practicum, running a group, normal course work, working 19-23 hours a week, self care, and being involved with other humans on a semi-normal basis just... 

also, My blog decided to delete this original post so I had to rewrite it. I hate times being wrong -_-

I Just Want You to Know

That A) that was the first song that played when I opened the music app and B) I have discovered a way to spend 11 dollars a day at Publix for breakfast and lunch. 

I'm not sure if this goes against my whole "eating things I cook" but I don't count it as fast food for going out to eat so in counting it as progress. 

Celebrate a World Filled with Magic

It is not a secret that "Celebrate the Magic" and "Wishes" are my two favorite things that Disney has to offer. There is something about these two shows and all of the people watching them being completely transfixed on the magic happening in front of them that just makes me happy. 

Originally, this Disney day was going to be spent with my old roommate Danielle but her job hates us so she couldn't come. Peter and I decided to use the fastpasses I originally planned for her and I making this the third day we have visited a theme park. Three date nights in row? What?! Hopefully these helped to make up for some of the date nights that the holidays interrupted seeing as this next semester starts on Monday and it is going to be so busy! 

Day Late, A Dollar Short

Budgeting is hard when you go to theme parks. Luckily, I still had some of the Christmas cash to put towards the food items I needed to buy today. Peter and I decided late last night that we were going to go to Islands of Adventure today during the day. We did not however decide to only be there for three hours. We woke up late and both needed to go grocery shopping for the week before we could go do anything. 

Add that, travel time, gas station lines, and congestion on I4 and you have us getting to Islands and on to our first ride at 5:17.  It was a fun trip none the less. We even popped back over to Universal Studios to ride the Mummy before the park closed and what we found was that the Beetlejuice stage building is already being taken down. ONE DAY LATER! There's no letters on top of the pillars and now there's a banner for the Fast and The Furious attraction blocking the old entrance. Amazing how quickly things  change.

I say that for multiple reasons. I was introduced to Universal by my mother but  I had the most fun with my lifelong friend Alexis and her family. Every time I visit Universal Orlando I think back to all of the fun them and I had staying in property and running around the parks. Nostalgia man. 

Let's Do the Time Warp Again

Thursday's are usually date nights for Peter and I but this week we had to reschedule for today. I had to work this morning but we finished the day off at Universal Studios by going "back in time" and visiting some of the older attractions.  We purposefully went to visit Beetlejuice's Graveyard Revue in order to say goodbye during the last show EVER for the general public. We followed that up with the Terminator 2 3D show as well as E.T. before reviewing 100 years of cinematic innovation with the Universal Cinematic Spectacular.

It was a fun day but I've felt off kilter since this morning. Tomorrow will be a better day! Tomorrow will also be a grocery shopping day so I won't have to magic food or spend money on going out to eat like I did today. Granted, it was date night and I'm allowed to buy food but yeah. Also! I'm aware that my title is not a Beetlejuice song, but I feel like it's appropriate ^_^

I Like to Move It, Move It

Some posts are these long drawn out entities that take a ton of time to prepare for and write. Others (like this one) are not.  I went to Tampa today to move my couch and dresser out of my sister's house and into a storage unit until I find a big girl apartment in July. Shout out to Peter, my sister, and her husband for being awesome and helping with today. And now, sleep. 

That's My Kind of Night

My books are here!! I'm so excited!! I know that it sounds silly to want to read through 900 (approximately) pages of these books and let my brain soak up all of their wisdom but I really, really want to. I also have two planners and calendar that I am dying to start fillin out and writing in. The white planner has a goals page for every month which I am planning to use to my advantage for this semester. There is a slot for financial, personal, and work goals as well as a page for school week that makes you pick three things to set as priorities, a section to make "to do" and "to call" lists, and even a weekly overall goal spot!! I'm way too excited about these things and unfortunately I can't spend the next 6 hours filling them out. It is time to go to work. 

I Want It That Way

I decided in the car earlier today that I wanted today's post to be about food. I've been trying for months to wean myself off of going out to eat. I love going to Moe's and Kyoto, I love getting pizza, I love getting burgers and fries. I have a very hard time limiting myself to eating only the food that I can make. That being said, I made some decisions after my birthday to budget the money I am able to spend on going out to eat and doing stuff for my own entertainment and this will continue into the new year. So far I have done really well! I made myself all three meals yesterday and two so far today since I was at work. My plan is to continue to make all of my own food and stick to the budget A) because it is less expensive and B) because it's healthier. 

I want to strive to achieve better eating habits and a healthier lifestyle and I think these are good steps to start with. What types of changes are you thinking about making this year? 

Let's Go to the Beach-each

It is amazing to think about where I was this time last year. As 2015 began I was preparing to take the next step in my education and getting ready to move to Orlando for graduate school. I was spending my last few days at my store with my amazing cast of characters. I was starting to feel sad about all of the things I was going to miss about my store and all of the memories I was not going to get to make with my nephew since I wasn't going to be at my sister's house. I was starting to worry about my capabilities as a future counselor. I was angry with myself for not saving more money. I was procrastinating packing all of my things. And I was filling out FAFSA, which I have yet to do for this year. 

Anyway, this year has already been different from last year in many ways. I'm in a different city surrounded by a different cast with various new friends and enemies. I woke up at the beach *shudder* in the arms of someone I care deeply about and then we took a stroll. I don't know what 2016 has in store for me but so far I like it.