Something... interesting happened to me today where I was talking with someone and they suggested that I do action X because the other people in this country might frown upon me if I don't. I told this person "Well that sucks for everyone else because I don't care," to which they responded "I wonder when you stopped having pride in yourself."
Hold up, excuse me? Since when does having pride in myself have anything to do with anyone else? When you Google "What is pride" this is the first thing that comes up:
pride
prīd/
noun
- 1.a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."the team was bursting with pride after recording a sensational victory"
synonyms: pleasure, joy, delight, gratification, fulfillment, satisfaction, a sense of achievement
"take pride in a good job well done" - 2.a group of lions forming a social unit.
verb
- 1.be especially proud of a particular quality or skill."she'd always prided herself on her ability to deal with a crisis"
synonyms: be proud of, be proud of oneself for, take pride in, take satisfaction in,congratulate oneself on, pat oneself on the back for
"Lucas prides himself on his knowledge of wine"
Now, if you will join me in dissecting this definition you will see that there are two parts to this definition that pertain to other people. One of them is related to group or team efforts (regardless of if you're on the team or not) and the other is in relation to qualities. Is this the type of pride Person B (as we will call them) is referring to? In order for me to take pride "from qualities... that are widely admired" I would first need to care about how the people they are widely admired by admire them. Does that even make sense outside of my brain? I hope it does.
Anyway, the rest of this definition is about one's own achievements, qualities, abilities, or skills. I take pride in myself, for myself not for anyone else. I take pride in doing my makeup because I want to look nice for me OR because I am attending a formal event and it gives me an excuse to go insane with my makeup. I don't put my makeup on for anyone else. If I cared what anyone else thought of how I looked without my make up on I would NEVER LEAVE MY HOUSE without foundation on. I straighten my hair because I like it to be straight and because I don't want to resemble a bird. Have I left the house with it bird like? Yes. Have I left the house with it messy and curly and looking like a nest? Yes. Have I walked out of my house, been told that my hair makes me look like a lesbian and then proceeded to rock the same hair cut anyway? Yes. Why? Because I have enough pride, self-love, confidence, and belief in myself for someone else's opinion not bother me. You don't like that I laugh like a zebra? Don't listen to me laugh then because I think laughing like a zebra is pretty freaking nifty. You don't like that I hiccup really REALLY loudly? I'm sorry to have disturbed you but I can do nothing about the sound of air going through my vocal chords and I can't make them stop automatically so unfortunately you and I are just going to have to deal with what I call 'Kangaroos'. You don't like that I'm white and a female or the fact that I can laugh in public or wear shorts? That's your prerogative, I'm sorry that you feel that way and if you ever change your mind let me know.
It doesn't bother me that something that I am doing (that is for me and is not going to hurt anyone around me mentally or physically) elicits a negative response from someone else. Especially if its a stereotypical, close-minded view that hurts more people than it has helped in over a hundred years. So what? WHO CARES? Who are these people who makes these rules and how do I tell them to stop?
I'm sorry for the long rant of a post and while I don't care about what Person B has to say on the matter of action X, it made for a good blog topic. In writing about it, I found something I do care about and that is the lessons and ways of thinking that are being passed on to other generations. If people are still teaching their children that all of their actions/decisions/thoughts/feelings are going to be judged by the rest of society then they need to also be teaching them that just because they will be judged it doesn't mean they aren't good actions/decisions/thoughts/feelings. Should we as a civilization be encouraging ourselves and our youths to accept all walks of life? To do things because they want to not because we say to or because they feel compelled to? To express ourselves in safe, healthy ways? Yes? Then how is it that someone can feel justified in asking me where I stopped having pride in myself all because I don't want to to action X? Because I disagree with their view of the way the world works? Who am I to tell my nephews (**STRICTLY AN EXAMPLE, I'M A STRAIGHT ALLY**) "you know what, you probably should stop hugging other boys or the rest of your class will think that you're gay" if I am also trying to teach him to love everyone? Who are you to tell me I can't do something if it literally has NO EFFECT on you, your life, your home, your car, your job, your kids, your husband, your wife, or your pet?
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